Waking up on a Monday morning is the same for me no matter what coast I am living on. It’s simply brutal. The alarm clock goes off and I instantly groan. Within seconds, but rarely feeling like it is quick enough for my liking, my boyfriend hits the snooze button. We then cuddle until the alarm sings out a second time, then a third and often a fourth time.
Finally, that awful announcement rings out one last time telling me I am pushing my luck and need to stop allowing that snooze button to be pushed. From the side of the bed with its mocking instrumental song that I swear would be saying this if there were lyrics to it:
It’s Monday, it’s beautiful, get up off your butt you lazy fool. Look at me, I am as chipper as I am every other morning of the week as should you be!
I always wish I can just set the alarm clock on fire and roll back over, but without a second thought, I roll over as my boyfriend hits the snooze button a last time. It’s Monday after all so I guess I have to get up!
After 45 minutes of this snooze button routine I find the strength to pull my body out of bed and stumble to the bathroom. As I approach the mirror I am immediately thankful that I took my contacts out the night before, the first time I had taken them out in over a month, because my morning mess of hair isn’t fully visible to me as I stand in front of the mirror. I know I have to look like a tragedy and that’s the last thing I need to witness when tired and grumpy!
The typical Monday anxiety swept up and down my chest as if I was about to go over a drop on an old rickety wooden roller coaster and I thought once again to myself, “well shit, another Monday”. Then stepped into the shower to wash the weekend fun off of me and out of mind so I could focus and start the week with a clean slate.
Trying to make it through my morning routine often seems impossible. I guess the shower doesn’t clean my mind well enough because I tend to still be dragging after. This morning in particular I dragged as much as I could without making myself late to the office. It’s strange because yesterday consisted of nothing but resting and relaxing. You would think I had set myself up for the perfect Monday morning, but it’s almost as if nothing I do can get me past a “case of the Mondays” as they would say in the movie Office Space. It’s the same for me on every coast of the United States and across the world for that matter. I’m just not a morning person regardless of timezone or circumstances.
Knowing that I was screwed if I didn’t take action to combat this vicious case of the Mondays I decided I would treat myself to a Starbucks grande coffee. My magic weapon against my Monday morning exhaustion. On my way into the office I swung by Starbucks and grabbed just that. A nice, steaming cup of coffee with a splash of soy milk and a dash of Sweet N’ Low. It’s like a warm embrace for my throat as I took my first sip. A smile came to my face with every sip that flooded between my lips, past my tongue and down my throat into my stomach. It didn’t take long for me to feel the rush of caffeine as it seeped into my bloodstream.
The first few sip hit my lips like a charge of electricity. I knew my Monday wasn’t going to be totally awful after that. Coffee was in my hand. With no care in the world when it comes to the fact that my cardiologist, general practitioner, psychiatrist and therapist have all told me to cut back or cut out completely the amount of coffee I drink I just walked to my car sipping away at my bitter, dark and luxurious happy juice.
As I approached my car, a sexy Jeep Grand Cherokee, I placed the paper Starbucks coffee cup on the roof and opened the door. Heaving my body into the driver’s seat I got physically situated and then reached my hand up blindly to grab my coffee.
Without more than a second of hesitation my hand found it as if the cup had a beacon calling for me to drink some more. I pulled it into the Jeep and started to place it in the cub holder closest to me when all of a sudden my hand was drenched in hot black liquid.
My eyes darted down to see that some how the cup had gotten squeezed. The cap popped off and coffee exploded from the cup as if it was lava bursting out of an active volcano.
How the heck was I supposed to deal with this? I found some tissues and soaked up as much liquid as I could and then thought to myself, “maybe this is a sign?”
As I mentioned, countless medical providers have told me to either cutback the amount of coffee I drink each week or cut coffee out of my diet completely. From my cardiologist to my gastrologist to my general practitioner to my psychiatrist, no medical provider left the coffee stone unturned. apparently coffee isn’t good for my heart, it’s not good for people with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) which I have, it isn’t good for people with anxiety and in general it is a good idea to not drink a ton of coffee on a regular basis.
Having this in mind both before I purchased the coffee, after I purchased the coffee and while I looked at my spilled coffee all over my Jeep I had one thought come to mind, “Is this karma?”
Coffee was a thing of New York for me. I use to drink it by the gallon, grab a cup every morning with friends and a refresher every afternoon. Here in California though, the people I surround myself with have been advocating for me to try more natural alternatives to coffee. Maybe it’s time I find a new secret weapon against a case of the Mondays. There are plenty of ways to energize myself in the mornings including:
- Exercise: I’ve been trying to run in the mornings, but goodness knows my inability to wake up on a regular day has prevented me from waking up early enough to run on a running day.
- Water: Drinking tons of water is supposed to help with energy so I have increased the amount of water I drink each day 10 times over.
- Green Tea: Green Tea actually contains a large amount of caffeine so you can get that caffeine jolt with out the coffee shakes.
- Multivitamin’s: Apparently these are supposed to help give you energy, but I don’t notice it in the instantaneous way I do with coffee.
- Wheatgrass Juice (and Green Smoothies): This is a natural source of energy containing tons of vitamins, minerals and other things to help energize your body. Tons of my colleagues drink wheatgrass juices and other green based smoothies in the morning. I’ve tried it once or twice, but still need to give it a fair shot.
There are many other alternatives, but these are some of the ones that are most mentioned to me. Maybe it’s time I take the next step forward with getting my feet on the ground here in LA and kick the coffee habit I developed in NYC. I have a feeling Green Tea would stain less if I absent mindedly spilled it all over the car in a half-asleep state of mind like I was in tonight.
What’s your favorite remedy for Monday exhaustion?