I think I’m Cursed

sad_kuroHave you ever thought you were cursed? I know I have. Actually, I’ve felt cursed so much in my life that I just assume there is one massive curse haunting me. Lately it has had a specific plan on how to drive me crazy.

This curse seems to be very supportive of my relationship with Blair, my fiancé and boyfriend of 20 months, because every time he is gone something goes wrong. I swear it’s the universe telling me, “Don’t let this one go!”

Well I have news for you universe or curse or devil who hates me! I don’t plan on letting him go. He is the best thing that’s ever happened to me so please give me a break!

I first realized that there was a curse on me when I was home alone one night for about five hours.  When I got home I heard a strange bubbling sound in the toilet. I walked into the bathroom and looked into the toilet to find air bubbles coming from the bottom of the toilet release a nasty odor into the room.  After trying to flush the toilet I found that the water in the bowl would not go down.

Naturally, I grabbed the plunger and started attacking the toilet. For about 15 minutes I plunged and plunged splashing toilet bowl water all over myself and the floor. The water seemed to lower so I walked away, cleaned myself up and got back to doing chores around the house. An hour later I heard the same bubbling noise from the bathroom. I repeated the exact same actions as I had done an hour earlier. As soon as the water had lowered I left the bathroom.

Then an hour later I heard the toilet bubbling again.  I walked in and realized there was a water splashing sound coming from somewhere.  That’s when I saw it. Water was shooting up out of the drain in the shower. Well, water and waste.  Come to find out it was human feces.  It stopped just shy of spilling over the edge of the shower floor into the bathroom.

I had a complete meltdown.  Blair wasn’t due home until after 10 pm and I had never called a plumber in my life. In New York City you just call your super and let him or her handle the problems.  With my current apartment I tried to call the landlord, but got no response.

After a complete meltdown, Blair convinced me to call a plumber via text message while he was trying to work at a work related dinner. He was so good to me.  Not many men will stay patient when their partner is at home having a complete meltdown over a bathroom emergency, but he did.

The plumber arrived around 11 pm and spent about an hour trying to snake out the main line for our building, which was causing a building wide backup due to tree roots growing into the pipe some how.  What really sucked was that he said the shower had to be cleaned for him to turn it on and see if the drain was clear, otherwise all the muck would wash back into it.

Without thinking I climbed in the shower and started cleaning up the muck. In my mind it was mud from the roots, in reality it was a mixture of mud and human feces.  This was something the plumber decided to only tell me after watching me clean it for a few minutes.

it too me until 2 am to fall asleep after trying to sterilize everything in the bathroom and sanitize my body. Having a feces explosion in your shower when you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is not a good thing. It’s not good period, but especially if germs give you panic attacks.

That all came in went. Blair was home and calmed me down.  We moved on from the nasty drama, but I took note of how awful it was having to deal with that alone.

Now Blair is out of the country on business.  My first night alone since the shower feces incident. Like most nights I got home late from work so had to rush the dogs out from their walk.  Then I started a load of laundry followed by a load of dishes. Once I was able to finally settle I poured a glass of wine and made my way to the living room.

Half distracted by checking my Facebook profile on my iPad I didn’t notice right away that the curse had peaked its little head out once again.  The television wouldn’t turn on. It seemed strange.  The television isn’t the newest TV in the world, but it is still good quality.

I fought with the remote for a while, changed the batteries, and banged it on my palm. The usual tactics to try to get something electronic to work.  Nothing happened and the TV remained black.

I got up and turned the power off and back on thinking that a reset may be needed.  Nothing happened after that either. The TV just wouldn’t work. I checked all the cords and everything was fully plugged in.  What am I supposed to do when home alone with no TV?

That’s when I decided to move the broken TV to an tend table and try to bring in the TV from my bedroom into the living room. While I did this I had to move the lamp from the end table onto the floor.

While juggling the bedroom TV and the lamp our pugs, Blair and I have two little black pugs, decided to start p[lay fighting right under my feet. As I tried to scoot the lamp to the side while it was sitting on the floor I began to place the bedroom TV on the entertainment center in the living room. That’s when I heard it.

1782063_10101637056298106_1196359640_nThe sound of glass clinking on hardwood floor.  In horror I looked over at the lamp expecting to find it broken as well.  Thank goodness it wasn’t. Also, thank goodness that the worst the curse has done so far is refused to let me turn on a television set.

My goodness. When the universe wants you with someone it really wants you with them and not apart for even a day.  Do you believe in curses or do you think things are just coincidences?