Not Ready to Make Nice with this goal – Coffee is just my addiction

I just can’t help myself.  For the first time in a long time I am writing one of my “song of the day” blogs.  If you aren’t familiar with these let me give you a brief background.

Last year when I was faced with a divorce I had to find a way to channel all my emotions.  I tried everything!  I walked two miles to work and two miles home everyday as well as daily runs to try and increase the amount of exercise in my life at the suggestion of my mother.  I tried drawing, but then remembered it’s not one of my strongest skills so I ended up just being frustrated.  From there I tried spending more time with friends, which was beneficial but at the same time didn’t allow me to reflect on my feelings.  That’s when I remembered how much music has been a positive part of my life since birth.

My mom is an amazing trumpet player.  I’ve grown up listening to her play off and on for as long as I can remember.  My father plays the trombone which I followed in his foot steps and played for seven years.  My sister also played trumpet.  My brother plays piano and sings incredibly.  He actually does backup on major Christian Rock CD’s from time to time.  As a family we have always sat around the house blasting music and singing along. I mean that we did this daily.  I know it sounds strange, but music always connected us. From there I got into dancing and color guard.  Both of which allowed me to express myself through dance and music.

With that in mind I realized that in addition to the many things I was already doing, it was a good idea to do something involving music to channel my energy.  That’s when my friend suggested I start writing blogs with every post relating to a song.  After that simple suggestion my Song of the Day blogs began and proved at the time to be very beneficial when it comes to the goal of channeling my emotions.

Over the past year however, I have transitioned away from these postings, but not completely.  Today I am writing about a song that has graced the pages of this blog more than once, Not Ready to Make Nice by the Dixie Chicks.

sleeping beautiesWhy am I choosing this song?  I felt it necessary to share with you where I stand with my fight against coffee and a transition to a healthier lifestyle, which I wrote about yesterday. Today, I’ve decided I am not ready to make nice with this decision!

I woke up this morning after a restless night feeling even more exhausted than I did yesterday.  After clawing my way out of bed and dragging my body to the shower I started thinking as the water splashed down upon me, “what can I do to wake up?”

I ran 4 miles the night before so exercise was out of the question, not to mention I was running behind schedule this morning. To figure out what was left I mentally reviewed the alternative natural things that can help energize me in the morning.

First I popped a multivitamin, but realized that was pretty pointless considering the level to which I was exhausted.

After 15 minutes of waiting for that to kick in I realized how ridiculous I was being.  I’m exhausted! Green tea or natural energy products just won’t cut it so I caved.  In a defeatist move, I set up the coffee pot and started brewing my delicious cup of my favorite pick me up.


Next I decided to try Mio Energy, a liquid enhancer that you add to water. It contains 60 mg. of caffeine per 8 fl oz. serving and provides 10% of your daily value of vitamins B3, B6, and B12. It has no artificial flavors and zero calories per 8 fl oz. serving.

Then I realized how guilty I felt for failing one day after saying I was finally going to attempt to stop drinking coffee.  What a rough addiction to quit, and don’t kid yourself! Coffee is addictive and hard to kick.

With that all explained, I find myself not taking a step forward today.  Tomorrow is another day and I will try my hardest to stay away from the warm embrace of a cup of coffee, but in the meantime this failure got me thinking. Maybe I shouldn’t just be looking at ways to energize myself in a healthy manor, although I am proud of myself for taking on this transition and starting to exercise more.  Maybe it’s time I look at what is causing me to wake up so exhausted and not sleep through the night?

I may not be ready to make nice with my plan to cut out coffee, but I will keep fighting until I am living the healthiest lifestyle possible.  The day I walk into my cardiologist or gastrologist and am not given strict instructions to change things about my diet like coffee will be the day I know I have been successful.