Typically I hate when my phone rings. That may sound strange, but I find 80% of the phone calls I answer or make tend to be a waste of my time and who has time to waste these days? Staying true to my age I would prefer a nice long instant message conversation. Yes, I’m dating myself, but I am referring to AOL Instant Message (AIM) or Google Message.
Remember the conversations you use to have on AIM? A conversation where you actually have someone to talk to, but at the same time can step away from for a minute or two without a second thought. Pretty much the same type of conversation you have to GChat nowadays. You could multitask and still get to stay up-to-date with whoever you may be speaking to.
If I am unable to have an instant message conversation then texting (and iMessaging if you have to be literal) is the next best thing usually. It’s a little harder to hold a long conversation, but it allows me to speak with people in a very concise way. No time is typically wasted when this is the case.
Today, I sat in my car chugging along in rush hour traffic on my way home from work wanting nothing more than to hear my phone ring. Typically I would be listening to the news, a book on tape, scanning emails or doing something productive, but not today. It was strange, but I really wanted to hear that god awful ringtone that Apple tries to pass off as some sort of “marimba” jam. My body shudders at the meer thought of that little tune, but at the same time my ears longed to hear it.
For the past few years I hadn’t really been in much contact with my family. Then a bit over a year ago things started to change drastically in my life. With the changes being made my family slowly started to pop-up all around me to support me. My phone, for the first time in years, started to ring giving me reason to actually pay for minutes that I hardly ever used in the past. My family was calling.
Now that my family calls me now and again I guess my heart longed to hear a familial voice. My mind yearned for the comfort I had started to receive over the past year. My ears hoped to hear the voices that tell me that I am a part of a family and never alone.
It’s funny when I think about that because it makes me think of the different reasons I decided to move to California. One of those reasons was to reconnect with, be closer to and love my family. In more ways than one I have grown closer to my family, all of my family, in the past two and a half months. I originally meant “closer” as in physically closer, but it’s true that I am closer both physically and emotionally. Something that couldn’t have been the case had I stayed in New York City since I have absolutely no family in the area.
So today I found myself wishing to hear my phone right. Wanting my phone to ring is a positive step forward. I’m no longer at home crying because of the shit life dealt me at the beginning of 2012. Nope, now I am sitting in my car feeling so thankful for my family that I actually want to endure that darn Marimba ring tone just to hear their voices and feel their support in my life.
I spent years trying to convince myself that family doesn’t necessarily mean those you share a bloodline with, but let me tell you… nothing replaces that kind of family.