Tag Archives: NYC

Coyote rib cage… redefined coyote ugly for me!

Posted on by
Reply

CoyoteNature is something that surrounds you when you live Los Angeles, CA.  Something I had known was going to be the case, but I hadn’t really wrapped my head around the full meaning.  That has changed now however.

Since moving to California I have gone on a number of hikes.  Every time I ventured out into the mountains I knew what the risks were.  Poison oak creeps around every bend, rattlesnakes slither along the ground and coyotes roam freely in the wild.  My first thought was to be too freaked out to venture out on any nature hikes, but I quickly got over that thanks to how beautiful California is.

Then this past weekend arrived and the reality of what is truly involved in the wilds of California became clear to me.  Walking along a dirt path in Lake Hughes, California this past weekend my friend came to a sudden stop.  She was looking off to the side of the path when she said, “um is that what I think it is?”

It was exactly what she thought it was.  My first thought was that it was a snake coiled quietly in the desert mountain brush.  That alone would have disgusted me more than enough for me to head back to my car and drive back to my apartment in West Hollywood.  Yet it wasn’t a snake of any kind.  Instead it was the remains of a coyote.  The rib cage to be exact. It redefined coyote ugly for me because those remains were no pretty.

You would think a snake would have bothered me more since I am petrified of snakes, but something about this random rib cage sitting a quarter-mile away from the little cabin room I was going to be staying in that night completely shook me.  Every bone had been licked clean.  It was as if the rib cage was an impostor, but it wasn’t. It was the real deal!

One of the feelings I was plagued by my last six months in New York City was that I felt overwhelmed by the lack of places I could escape to and not see buildings all around me.  I wanted nature and open spaces.  Spaces where I could exercise and clear my mind.  After 5 1/2 years Central Park was no longer cutting it for me.

Now I have to ask, what have I gotten myself into?  And even more, as we learned from Jessica Simpson’s sad experience when her dog was snatched by a coyote, what have I gotten my dog Evian into?

I’m not going to let this realization of what exactly is involved when it comes to nature stop me from going on more hikes, but it sure as heck is a new experience when moving from New York City… oh wait… is it a new experience? I guess I forgot about this little guy that ran loose in NYC two years ago!

SNTV – Wild coyote runs loose in NYC by splashnews

Song of the Day – BobbyTBD Blogs are Back

Posted on by
Reply

IMG_3137For the first time since I announced that I had decided to leave New York City and head to Los Angeles I have decided to pick up my blogging again.  Not exactly where I left off though.  After a couple months off of my typical blogging routine which consisted of listening to music and writing I have found myself in a new place.  A place where I feel safe and comfortable to start writing about my life again.

I took a break because I was sick of being sad.  Every blog had a theme and that theme was me trying to make myself push through a horrible year.  I was writing about divorce, life changes that scared the hell out of me and often the need to find strength even though I felt constantly weak.

Times have changed.  You see, there was period last year, before I met my boyfriend and connected with many of the friends I have735958_10100906850830716_264286980_o today where I felt broken.  My heart ached everyday when I woke up and alone was a word that defined every fiber of my being.  The guy crying in the corner of his kitchen on Riverside Drive as he watched everything he knew melt away is no longer the guy that I am. Today I am a guy who smiles surrounded by amazing people.

Yes, I still cry.  Everyone knows it and anyone who has tried to say goodbye to me as I get ready to move this week has definitely witnessed a few tears fall from my eyes. Yes, I’m still not perfect, but I am one thing I wasn’t last year.  I am loved and I know it.  Many people in my life have watched me go through an emotional roller coaster this past month (and for that matter the past year and a half), but this past month the emotions are different.  They aren’t sadness because I have nothing (sorry Whitney, but you aren’t getting this song of the day blog).  They are tears of the best sort.  You see I am no longer the guy that cries alone in his kitchen.  I am the guy that knows he isn’t alone and is surrounded by love and compassion.

778703_10100974203470486_996079940_oLast winter/spring a guy I use to think was a good friend called me and said I would never make real friends.  I have the inability to connect and understand others and make friends, at least that’s how I was made to feel.  I wouldn’t find that type of love.  I’d be alone.   For whatever reason, I believed him and among all the things I was feeling last year his words stained my heart and broke me just a bit more than I already was.  I gave up all my strength and passed it to those who counted against me.

Now I’m in pain because I am sad that for the first time in my life I feel like I belong.  I can honestly tell myself that my so called friend couldn’t have been more wrong and I was an idiot for listening to him.  When I announced my decision to move it felt like the hearts and souls of everyone I know opened up and embraced me.  The flood of support I received overwhelmed my senses in the best of ways while at the same time tearing down the negativity I had felt deep inside.  Every tear I drop is dropped because I am sad, sad to have fought for so long to feel loved and supported to realize it was already right there in front of me and yet so happy that I have the ability to be sad in this way.

Maybe it sounds crazy, but a year ago I was crying because I had nothing.  Now when I cry it is because I feel like I have everything I have ever wanted.  I am thankful to shed tears because I have to say goodbye to people who love me.  It’s a far distance601228_10100947988550396_2098358610_n from where I was a year ago.

I’m so thankful for these past few months and I’m so glad I get to leave New York knowing that I can be loved and I can make friends. It’s a new start that I get to start with a confidence that I owe to each of my friends, supporters, champions and my boyfriend. Even if I stumble a little here and there I am on my feet again.

Be prepared because BobbyTBD is back up and running and I will be detailing this new experience. This experience that isn’t about loss, but about gaining.  It’s about rebirth. It will be about taking myself out of the constant blogs of needing to be strong and fighting to make it and instead they will be about the fact that I am strong and have made it.

484779_10100943878776416_1910642851_nI’m landing on my feet and I am standing tall so as a reintroduction to my long-lost Song of the Day blogs I am dedicating this first blog back to the ever amazing song sung by Cher, You Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me because this is a song I wrote about a year ago and what it meant to my life at the time.  I wrote swearing to those who counted against me, like my so called friend briefly mentioned above, that I was going to make it and you shouldn’t count me out or down.  I have landed on my feet and as Cher sings, “you can’t stop me.”

 

Moving… forward

Posted on by
5

Sitting at my computer on more than one occasion, I have tried to write about this topic multiple times.  Each time I get distracted and push the delete button.  Once or twice I was distracted by life, phones ringing or having to rush off to something like work or a social event.  Once or twice I hit writers block and once or twice I realized I did not like what I was writing.

I think all those distractions stem from one specific thing and that things is that my brain just can’t seem to be in one place.  Most

The view from my new building in Astoria

people that know me know that 2012 has been a struggle for me in finding myself, starting a new life and really just trying to make the world around me make sense.  That’s actually the reason why I changed my website from my name to bobbytbd.com.  This year my life has been focused on determining everything there is to me.

The point of mentioning all that is to say that every time I sit down to write about my move I can’t shake the negativity associated with it.  No matter what angel I take it seems I have to “throw some shade” in someone or anthers direction and that is not the type of person I want to be.

This move to Astoria served as the next to the last moment for me in the process to declare my independence and full control over my life.  For as long as I have been alive my life has been nothing but living with other people.  I moved from living with my parents to living with someone I was in a relationship.  For the first time in my life I live on my own.

This move was like a border being placed between my old life as Bobby Argabrite and my new life as Bobby Hall.  For the first time since all the hell in my life broke out into a public chaotic mess I have a place to go to where I can say, “this space is mine.
This space is safe. This space is for me.  This space is me.”

My room while I was putting it together.

The space is a room in a two bedroom apartment I share with a roommate.  The room is amazing.  It has two large windows that flood the room with natural light illuminating the bright colors I have strategically placed throughout.  I’ve carefully decorated the room in a light grey with yellow accents scattered around in pop color and color blocking fashion.  It’s an airy, light space full of positivity everywhere you turn.  It’s a space that is full of my personality, which is something I’ve not really had in a very long time.  It kind of defines my personality, the personality I am trying to re-engage with.

It also is a space that satisfies every need I recently realized I have when I need to be alone.  It has a bed full of pillows to lay on.  There is a windowsill for me to sit in and read and a “living room area” with a couch and TV for me to veg out at.  In this space I can turn my music on and flutter around the room writing on my laptop and expressing all my thoughts and feelings in the privacy of my own home.  I can escape into my own world in that space and that is something I’ve needed more than anything for a while now.  It’s taking Bobby TBD and slowly helping me become more than an acronym.

One thing I’ve needed is to have a space, even if I don’t use it often, to call my own and where I am comfortable and safe being alone at.   This is that space.

I’m taking a giant leap forward and know that the past is just that, the past.  The sadness, pain, fear and anger that consumed so much of my thoughts and emotions in the early part of 2012 are behind me.  Now I am moving forward.

Why you should ask me to be your roommate!

Posted on by
Reply

Why you should ask me to be your roommate!

Finding an apartment to rent or room to rent in New York City is one of the most time consuming and often aggravating processes in the world. I’ve been going through all the possible websites to find a room to rent or apartment and decided I’d take my search one step farther.  I’ve decided to let the room find me!  As one of my favorite women ever, Whitney Houston, said, Step by Step. I am looking for an apartment or room to rent and I specifically want it to be in Astoria.

I’d make a good roommate. Why? Well, let’s see.

I have a steady job so you know I’ll make my rent. My credit score is high (trust me I checked it today). I’m gay, let’s just put that out there! Who doesn’t want a gay roommate? It’s like having a real life floor length mirror that talks back and will never let you walk out of the apartment in the wrong shoes. I’ll probably spend 3 – 5 days a week away, so you get a roommate while almost living alone. Talk about a quiet roommate right?

I have an adorable pug who loves almost everyone she meets (but she does have standards). She is sweet, well-trained and there isn’t a person on earth who doesn’t fall in love with her. She is American Kennel Club (AKC) approved and she will only spend about 50% of her time in my apartment as I like to take her with me if I will be away.

If that doesn’t make me sound appealing maybe this will… I can cook. I like to consider myself the gay Martha Deen (Paula Deen and Martha Stewarts illegitimate child). Okay, I’m not that good, but I promise I can cook.

I clean, but at the same time don’t mind if you aren’t anally on top of your dishes. Cleaning gives me something to do when I get bored with TV and who are we kidding, TV is boring lately so you can count on a clean apartment.

I’m an excellent mixologist. Seriously though, what gay isn’t? If you like my cooking you’ll love my mixing. Not only do I mix though, I am a really good wine shopper. If you have $10 I can guarantee we can find a good wine to sip while sitting on the couch if we share a roommate movie night together.

I have tons of music a roommate could have access to. That’s obviously just a side perk to living with me. I love music and listen to it most of the time. When I write I rarely write in silence, but I prefer to wear headphones so the music won’t bother you if you aren’t a music person. I’m so considerate that way!

Also, I shouldn’t forget to mention, I am a runner. Runner for life in fact. If you need motivation to get yourself out on the pavement I am your guy (but you don’t have to run with me of course, just putting that sentiment out there).

If you’re a girl I have a few straight guy friends you may just hit it off with, if you are gay I have tons of perfect gay friends and if you are a straight man… all bets are off. Just kidding! If you are a straight man you can just imagine how many hot girl friends I have that I am happy to invite or not invite around.

After four years of living in Manhattan I think it’s time for a change. I want to live in Astoria and bring the Queen out in me! Oh, I mean the Queens out in me.

So what do you think? You want to live with me right? Or you know someone who would? Let me know!

NYC Tweetup – October 13th!

Posted on by
4

NYC Tweetup – October 13th!

Oh Twitter.  What can I say about Twitter?  I fought against joining it forever (similarly to how I originally refused to give up on Myspace and join Facebook).  Then the inevitable happened, I joined Twitter!  It’s been an interesting experience to say the least.

I remember the day I decided to try this social media website out.  The first thing I did was add the 15 “real life” friends I had who were on Twitter.  Then I sent out a tweet saying something like, “How do I tweet?  I don’t get it.”

Within seconds I was getting advice from my friends and, what I found strange as a new twitterer, I got advice from friends of friends.  Before I knew it my twitter was consuming my attention when at my computer.  New people were following me left and right and tweeting about everything of interest to me.  I had debates about politics, talked about night life and discussed traveling destinations.

From those introductory twitter conversations my twitter profile started to connect me with people I genuinely found to be of interest.  I can’t remember who was the first person, but one day a twitter follower from New York City suggested we meetup.  I thought about it for all of a second and decided that we clearly had shared interest… we were tweeting all the time after all, we basically knew each other and I am always up to meet new friends.

Somehow that one attempt at meeting a follower in hopes of becoming friends started a trend.  Since then I have met many twitter friends and transitioned them to face to face real life friends.

That’s why when my friend Tony suggested a tweetup of all our NYC twitter people I thought it would be a great opportunity to further integrate twitter to life.  This meetup is still in the process of being planned but it will take place on the evening of Saturday October 13th in NYC.  If you have any interest in joining us please follow the link below and RSVP (even if tentatively) and come take your twitter friends from @ signs to voices and faces:

http://tweetvite.com/event/NYCTweetupGuysNight

A few pictures of some of the friends I have met via Twitter over the past couple years.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.


Happy Pride – Knock You Naked Margaritas and Margaritaville

Posted on by
Reply

Pride Song of the Day – Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffett

Today is the first day of the New York City Gay Pride Weekend.  Pride is a lot of things.  At the core it’s about celebrating who we are as a community and standing against discrimination,

Froze Limeade – 12 fl oz

inequality and ignorance toward the members of our community made up of gay, straight, bisexual, lesbian, and transgender people.  It’s about saying we are proud of who we are and supporting and celebrating our community.

With that said, it is also a time to celebrate the gay community!  I know that as we venture into pride weekend many people will celebrate across Manhattan at house parties, bars, clubs, on beaches, on boats and anywhere else you can think of.  I asked myself, what can I do to contribute to Pride weekend for those that may read my blog?

1 bottle of Corona

I started thinking about who I am and at my core I am a southern bell of a boy.  I love to host events and parties, which is probably why I do what I do.  The best contribution I can make to you all to help make this pride weekend special is to share with you a little party recipe I learned in college.  The Knock You Naked Margaritas!  What is a celebration in the heat of summer without a good strong ice cold margarita?

I must preface this by saying it is not my recipe.  It is a family recipe of someone I met while in college.  Her family was from New Mexico and they knew how to get down.  The recipe can be found elsewhere online though so I think I can share the secret!

I have to warn you, the name of these margaritas is the name for a reason.  They are not for the faint at heart or those with weak livers.  Light weights beware!

The Knock You Naked Margarita Ingredients:

  • 12 fl oz (1 bottle) Corona (extra or light, it doesn’t matter)
  • 12 fl oz can of Frozen Limeade
  • 12 fl oz of Sprite
  • 12 fl oz of Tequila (Sauza or something on that level is fine, don’t waste really expensive tequila)

Directions:

Tequila – 12 fl oz

First off, you should know, do not ever blend this recipe with ice.  Due to all the carbonation you will be looking at a big mess.  I do know from personal experience!

Grab a pitcher from your kitchen (or a pot if you want to make a huge batch and double the recipe or triple it).  Pop the top of the corona and pour it into the

pitcher.  Then open the frozen limeade can and pour that into the same pitcher.  If your sprite is in a larger bottle use the frozen limeade can to measure out your 12 fl oz of sprite and pour that into the pitcher.  Use the same frozen limeade can to measure roughly 12 fluid ounces of tequila and add that to your mixture.  Make sure you stir it up really well so that you don’t have any limeade unmixed.  Now just pour it over ice.

These margaritas sound a bit crazy, but you will be hard pressed to find someone who doesn’t like them.  You will be sure to get your guests or yourself drunk if you are throwing a party and you can be damn sure you will have a good time!  If you don’t live in NYC be sure to drive safely and drink responsibly.

 

Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffett

Running for Life

Posted on by
Reply

Running for Life

What a different type of day!  I’m sitting at home after a long exhausting day of having a bit too much enjoyment.

My legs!

As you many know, if you read my earlier posting, I woke up and decided to approach my day a bit differently than I have in the past few weeks.  Today I decided I would try to function and live.

I did just that once I chugged down my unsweetened iced coffee.  Caffeinated and awake I began to function.  For starters I shaved my legs, that is not at all important for telling the story of my day, but it does explain the first picture I posted on Instagram.  Some may have wondered why I felt possessed to post a picture of my legs and now they know.

From there I put my Nike+ FuelBand and Nike+ SportsBand on my left wrist, grabbed my iPhone and Nike+ headphones and headed toward Central Park.  This was my first run in Central Park since moving to the Upper West Side.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve run in Central Park 100s of times over the past four years, but this is the first time starting on the north end.  Prior to moving up here I always started at the Columbus Circle entrance.

Let me tell you, it is a world different starting at the north side of the park.  Why?  A heck of a lot less tourist.  I

know, this city would be nothing if it weren’t for tourist so we really should, as residents, learn to embrace them.  With that in mind, sometimes you just want to enjoy a relaxing run through the park where you don’t have to jump all around tons and tons of people.

Picture from today’s run in Central Park

That is exactly what happened this time.  No jumping or dodging of tourist.  I hit the trails and headed straight toward the reservoir.  I ran at a full clip for four straight miles.  The sun was beating down on me draining every ounce of energy I had.  I knew very quickly that I had lived up to my mornings commitment to myself.  I was functioning. Albeit the sun started to wear me down toward the end.  I always approach running as if it is a race to the death.  I push myself as fast as I can go for as far as I can go… Something I know people like my mother would suggest I be a little smarter about.  I was always told growing up, “you don’t have to be the fastest, you don’t have to run the farthest, you just have to run forward.”

For the first time in at least a month, I felt alive.  From there the rest of my day was sunshine.  So much so that I decided to pay tribute and honor to this new approach to dealing with this stress, this stress and anxiety that I know won’t be going anywhere anytime soon, and go shopping.  I got myself some sassy yellow pants.

Yellow pants like sunshine from H&M

They made my day.  I feel like they are helping me to take a fresh look at life.  I have said for weeks I wanted to change myself.  Now I am.  I even went out for a drink with a friend.  I left the apartment.  It’s a step.

I don’t expect anything to be perfect or any of my problems to wash away or be pushed under the rug, but I do expect myself to do more than sit on the couch 24 hours a day 7 days a week (okay, I don’t expect myself to sit on the couch when I am not at work).

Tomorrow is a new day yet again. I will take everyday one day at a time.  My problems will still be here but I will work on them everyday.  I will learn from them everyday.  I will address them everyday. I will apologize for them everyday.  I know I am not perfect and never will be, but I can be happy again.  It’s funny when I think about it, but I can kind of apply the running mantra spoken about earlier to life, “I don’t have to be the fastest (or the best), I don’t have to go the farthest (I won’t be able to change over night), I just have to move forward.”

Song of the Day – Empire State of Mind (II) by Alicia Keys

Posted on by
1

Song of the Day – Empire State of Mind (II) by Alicia Keys

I love both versions of this song, but there is something about this broken down slow version that just calls to me.  It’s on just about every playlist in my iTunes and I listen to it more regularly than most songs.  You just have to love it.

NYC Floor Plan – Dream Apartment

Image

Reply

I love our new apartment, but while googling images of our building today I came across this floor plan.  It is for an apartment located at 190 Riverside Drive.  My goal is to live in an apartment a lot like this with a view of the park and the Hudson River.

I love real estate!