Tag Archives: New York

Sometimes even I realize I’m too much!

This morning I woke up thinking it was going to be a good day.  Of course I was a bit tired, but within the first 20 minutes of being awake I had already learned that I’ve lost 3 more pounds, was going to have a cup of coffee and break my no coffee rule again, and a picture I had posted the night before on social media was getting a lot of fun attention.

Then I headed to work and immediately things started to turn sour.  First I backed my car into a trashcan and knocked it over.  That’s always fun!  Then I pulled on to Santa Monica Boulevard to find that traffic was completely stopped.  After ten minutes I realized I had to turn around and go back home because I forgot to take my medicine.  Once home and in the bathroom reaching for my medicine I accidentally dropped my iPhone.  When I picked it up I found that the screen was shattered. After that I got in my car a bit rattled to learn that there was a horrible accident on Santa Monica Boulevard and I’d have to find a new route to work.

Then I received an email from a friend with the subject line “ridiculously amazing”.  Inside the email was a copy of the picture I had posted the night before and a quick note about how my friend finds me to be ridiculous, silly and that she is glad I can always make her laugh.

Personally I think that there is not a person on earth who could successfully argue that I do not have a good sense of humor and that I don’t know how to laugh at myself.  This was proven by this picture last night. Yesterday was a very special day. It was the birthday of one of my dearest friends, Robbie, and also the day before my boyfriends sister visits. Naturally this required both a celebration and a house cleaning, so in true Bobby fashion I grabbed a cosmo and a mop.  Realizing how silly I looked I had Blair, my boyfriend, snap a picture so I could share it with Robbie and Blair’s sister on Facebook and Instagram.

I knew the picture would get some attention since these aren’t private networks, but I didn’t expect how much attention it would receive.  It’s been liked like crazy on Instagram, definitely enjoyed by some of my Facebook friends, tweeted about, emailed about both among my personal and professional networks and I even received a few text messages about it.

As I look back I realize just how funny the picture is which is perfect timing because after the morning I’ve had I needed a good laugh.

Now as I settle into my day I feel the need to laugh more than earlier and decided that it’s best to laugh at yourself. Life pushes you into many difficult situations, frustrating circumstances and sad moments, but it’s how we respond to them that makes us who we are.  Over the past year I have gotten a divorce, moved 4 times, left a job, started a job, said goodbye to all my best friends and family and started a new life.  There have been many wonderful moments, but also many hard moments.  So let’s take a moment to laugh at the way I have handled them.

1. The one that prompted this, the birthday celebration I threw for my friend since we were a country apart and he wasn’t getting to celebrate his birthday all while cleaning.

Weight loss proof

2. Last summer I decided to take a beach trip to Rehoboth to escape New York City. A fun trip with my friend Dustin to the beach ended up getting a bit rainy.  First we found ourselves crowded in a parking deck with a large group of beach goers so I decided to entertain those waiting for the rain to stop with a lovely dance.

RAIN

By the time we got to the hotel, cleaned up and headed out to the bars it was still raining, so I decided to go out in on the patio at the bar and do a little back-bend in the rain for the guys.

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3. Then the month of December came.  Christmas is always emotional when you are going through major transitions. I knew this past Christmas was going to be my last in New York, my last with my friends there and the first home with my family in over 7 years. The month of December found me getting a little too obsessed with Santacon to the point that I couldn’t let go of my elf costume and wore it repeatedly every chance I got.

Elfness

 4. Then there was the going away party for Blair and I prior to our move from NYC to LA. My friend and I decided to reenact the legendary scene from Titanic at the front of the boat, but failed…

Failed Titanic

5. Then I randomly convinced myself that it wasn’t clear that I am gay on social media so I made my Twitter and Facebook profile pictures pop with rainbow pizzazz. 3ed9d098005411e28df322000a1e9df2_76.  Then I went on a hike and realized I never had to question how gay I come off to people.

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7. We can’t forget how I celebrated my favorite holiday, Halloween. I marched through New York City dressed as a Alexander the Great’s concubine (my boyfriend dressed up as Alexander the Great for Halloween). This is real life for me!

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8. Then there was that time I thought I should climb a tree at 2 am. I don’t know how this is me getting past tough situations, but it’s pretty much worth inclusion for a laugh.

tree

9.  There was also that time my boyfriend convinced me it would be fun to clean up trash on the beach.  To get over that trashy experience I went to swim in the pool and of course I got a little too excited about the pool floats.

The floaty

10.  And lastly for my most ridiculous moment… The time I showed a little too much emotion at my going away party… and I kissed a girl…

The Girl Kiss

and then I kissed another girl…

The other girl kiss

Then everyone got in on the fun…

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And eventually even my boyfriend realized I can be a bit out of control so he made his claim.

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And I accepted his ring pop faux-proposal

The ring pop proposal

When life throws you tough situations and unexpected obstacles approach them with humor and laugh at yourself when you do something stupid.

Fighting a case of the Mondays

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Waking up on a Monday morning is the same for me no matter what coast I am living on. It’s simply brutal.  The alarm clock goes off and I instantly groan.  Within seconds, but rarely feeling like it is quick enough for my liking, my boyfriend hits the snooze button. We then cuddle until the alarm sings out a second time, then a third and often a fourth time.

57437109Finally, that awful announcement rings out one last time telling me I am pushing my luck and need to stop allowing that snooze button to be pushed. From the side of the bed with its mocking instrumental song that I swear would be saying this if there were lyrics to it:

It’s Monday, it’s beautiful, get up off your butt you lazy fool. Look at me, I am as chipper as I am every other morning of the week as should you be!

I always wish I can just set the alarm clock on fire and roll back over, but without a second thought, I roll over as my boyfriend hits the snooze button a last time. It’s Monday after all so I guess I have to get up!

After 45 minutes of this snooze button routine I find the strength to pull my body out of bed and stumble to the bathroom. As I approach the mirror I am immediately thankful that I took my contacts out the night before, the first time I had taken them out in over a month, because my morning mess of hair isn’t fully visible to me as I stand in front of the mirror.  I know I have to look like a tragedy and that’s the last thing I need to witness when tired and grumpy!

The typical Monday anxiety swept up and down my chest as if I was about to go over a drop on an old rickety wooden roller coaster and I thought once again to myself, “well shit, another Monday”. Then stepped into the shower to wash the weekend fun off of me and out of mind so I could focus and start the week with a clean slate.

Trying to make it through my morning routine often seems impossible. I guess the shower doesn’t clean my mind well enough because I tend to still be dragging after.  This morning in particular I dragged as much as I could without making myself late to the office.  It’s strange because yesterday consisted of nothing but resting and relaxing. You would think I had set myself up for the perfect Monday morning, but it’s almost as if nothing I do can get me past a “case of the Mondays” as they would say in the movie Office Space.  It’s the same for me on every coast of the United States and across the world for that matter. I’m just not a morning person regardless of timezone or circumstances.

Knowing that I was screwed if I didn’t take action to combat this vicious case of the Mondays I decided I would treat myself to a Starbucks grande coffee. My magic weapon against my Monday morning exhaustion.  On my way into the office I swung by Starbucks and grabbed just that.  A nice, steaming cup of coffee with a splash of soy milk and a dash of Sweet N’ Low.  It’s like a warm embrace for my throat as I took my first sip. A smile came to my face with every sip that flooded between my lips, past my tongue and down my throat into my stomach.  It didn’t take long for me to feel the rush of caffeine as it seeped into my bloodstream.

The first few sip hit my lips like a charge of electricity.  I knew my Monday wasn’t going to be totally awful after that.  Coffee was in my hand.  With no care in the world when it comes to the fact that my cardiologist, general practitioner, psychiatrist and therapist have all told me to cut back or cut out completely the amount of coffee I drink I just walked to my car sipping away at my bitter, dark and luxurious happy juice.

As I approached my car, a sexy Jeep Grand Cherokee, I placed the paper Starbucks coffee cup on the roof and opened the door.  Heaving my body into the driver’s seat I got physically situated and then reached my hand up blindly to grab my coffee.

Without more than a second of hesitation my hand found it as if the cup had a beacon calling for me to drink some more.  I pulled it into the Jeep and started to place it in the cub holder closest to me when all of a sudden my hand was drenched in hot black liquid.

My eyes darted down to see that some how the cup had gotten squeezed.  The cap Coffee Cuppopped off and coffee exploded from the cup as if it was lava bursting out of an active volcano.

How the heck was I supposed to deal with this? I found some tissues and soaked up as much liquid as I could and then thought to myself, “maybe this is a sign?”

As I mentioned, countless medical providers have told me to either cutback the amount of coffee I drink each week or cut coffee out of my diet completely. From my cardiologist to my gastrologist to my general practitioner to my psychiatrist, no medical provider left the coffee stone unturned. apparently coffee isn’t good for my heart, it’s not good for people with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) which I have, it isn’t good for people with anxiety and in general it is a good idea to not drink a ton of coffee on a regular basis.

Having this in mind both before I purchased the coffee, after I purchased the coffee and while I looked at my spilled coffee all over my Jeep I had one thought come to mind, “Is this karma?”

Coffee was a thing of New York for me.  I use to drink it by the gallon, grab a cup every morning with friends and a refresher every afternoon. Here in California though, the people I surround myself with have been advocating for me to try more natural alternatives to coffee.  Maybe it’s time I find a new secret weapon against a case of the Mondays. There are plenty of ways to energize myself in the mornings including:

  • Exercise: I’ve been trying to run in the mornings, but goodness knows my inability to wake up on a regular day has prevented me from waking up early enough to run on a running day.
  • Water: Drinking tons of water is supposed to help with energy so I have increased the amount of water I drink each day 10 times over.
  • Green Tea:  Green Tea actually contains a large amount of caffeine so you can get that caffeine jolt with out the coffee shakes.
  • Multivitamin’s: Apparently these are supposed to help give you energy, but I don’t notice it in the instantaneous way I do with coffee.
  • Wheatgrass Juice (and Green Smoothies): This is a natural source of energy containing tons of vitamins, minerals and other things to help energize your body.  Tons of my colleagues drink wheatgrass juices and other green based smoothies in the morning.  I’ve tried it once or twice, but still need to give it a fair shot.

There are many other alternatives, but these are some of the ones that are most mentioned to me.  Maybe it’s time I take the next step forward with getting my feet on the ground here in LA and kick the coffee habit I developed in NYC.  I have a feeling Green Tea would stain less if I absent mindedly spilled it all over the car in a half-asleep state of mind like I was in tonight.

What’s your favorite remedy for Monday exhaustion?

The California DMV Tanked My Mood

thAs last week came to an end I announced to my boyfriend, my mother, some colleagues and other friends that I just had to hold out until Monday, May 20th and I will be able to start a new week.  All the stress of back to back travel, events (both work and personal, and a jam-packed schedule was to be left behind me.

Then I got to experience my first trip to the California Department of Motor Vehicles.  It is time I exchange my New York drivers license for a California one.  This isn’t the hardest thing on earth to accomplish, but it isn’t without its hurdles.

First of all, like all Department of Motor Vehicles from across the nation, California’s are no different in that they are historically plagued with long lines.  Who has time for that?  Luckily, I live in the great state of California where their DMV allows you to schedule appointments ahead of time.  That sure kept the stress off of me!

My appointment, which I had scheduled over a month ago, was for this morning at 8:30 am.  The DMV opened at 8:00 am so I assumed there would already be a crowd when I was to arrive at 8:30.

To my surprise when I pulled into the parking lot of the Santa Monica DMV there were very few cars parked in the lot.  I didn’t count my lucky stars yet though. It is a DMV after all.  I assume some people inside couldn’t drive themselves there, if they all could then they wouldn’t be at the DMV right?

I sashayed, in the way that I do, through the front doors to find no line in the place.  The seats to the right were only occupied by a handful of people leaving at least 90% of them empty.  I naïvely laughed to myself and thought, “well this will go much fast than I thought”!

Now all I had to do was fill out the form to exchange my license and take the written test and I would be done.

So I thought, it turns out that I had forgotten to bring a copy of my birth certificate or my passport with me. One of the documents would be required to get a California driver’s license.

Immediately upon realizing I had forgotten these documents I walked back to my Jeep, sat down in the driver’s seat and slammed my head against the steering wheel.  After a long weekend which I had to work during I woke up early this morning just for this test.  I showered quickly and hit the road so I could study some for the written exam on my way and when I arrived.  All that stress was for nothing and I have to go through the entire process of making an appointment that doesn’t conflict with work or my personal life, study and deal with entering the DMV one more time.

There is one thing positive to come out of this experience and that is that California has received a point from me for the speed and efficiency of telling me I was inadequately prepared to apply for my driver’s license.  I feel like I would have been at the New York City DMV for an hour before someone would have told me I was unable to get my license today.

Now I’m stuck trying to shake off the foul mood this has left me in.  I have no driver’s license from California.  I have yet to take the written test.  I have to make a new appointment and wait a couple more weeks and still have to deal with this all over again.  My mental move to be more upbeat, optimistic and in a good mood is off to a rocky start. If only I had realized I needed those documents maybe my goal of starting the week on a positive note could have been achieved.

Totally Fucked – Spring Awakening… it just seems appropriate when you are speaking or writing about the DMV.

Learning to wake up in LA

good_morning__los_angeles_by_ballookey-d4e9djdSince moving to Los Angeles from New York City I have learned that there are many differences between LA and NYC.  Some of these differences are minor and some are major and with that said, some may be minor but seem major to me.  One of the changes that I am still adjusting to is mornings in LA.

Over 5 1/2 years in NYC I developed a pretty standard ritual that most of my colleagues and friends were also accustomed to.  I would wake-up, walk my dog, get ready for work, ride the subway, walk to my office, sit at my desk, and work for 30 minutes to an hour before I really said a word to anyone.  I would operate in my own bubble until at least 10:30 am allowing me to both wake up and get my day started.  Everyone seemed to operate along the same lines in NYC (although I realize there are plenty of New Yorker’s who are early birds).  We respected the silent commute and the need for many of those around us to ease into their days.  To be honest, half the people I have worked with over the years in NYC didn’t even arrive to their offices until 10/10:30 am.

People here in LA often seem to operate in a much different way in the morning.  You see, here, people seem to wake up and start pounding the pavement… literally!  Everyone seems to workout in the morning, go to coffee meetings and enter their offices in the mornings as energetic as can be.  No matter where I am or what I am doing it seems as if people want to talk to me the second I roll out of bed.  I’ve met more of my neighbors on my morning walks with my dog here in LA than I have at any other time of the day. Let me tell you, when I walk the dog in the morning I have no interest in meeting anyone!  I roll straight out of bed, pull on the first items of clothing I can find and walk the dog looking like a hot mess.   This little fact took me two weeks to really learn! I finally started waiting to walk my dog until after my morning shower just to save face in my neighborhood.

It always seems around here that if people aren’t at the gym waking themselves up in the morning they are surfing in the frigid waters of our area beaches.  No wonder they are wide awake!  If they aren’t surfing they are doing something else.  By the time 10:00 am rolls around and I am finally starting to wake-up and be in a talkative mood, everyone around me seems to have been in a wide awake state of mind for at least 2 hours.

Rolling with the punches and trying to acclimate myself to the culture around me instead of expecting the culture to change for my comfort I have begun waking up a little early and running in the morning.  It hasn’t become a ritual yet, but I would say it is on the way to becoming a ritual.  I’ve noticed the people I know here in LA that wake up and start there days early have very positive attitudes and are very productive.  I wouldn’t mind a positivity  boost and productivity boost in the mornings.

While I would like to say that I would award a point to NYC for understanding the need to take it slow in the mornings I have to give a point to LA for teaching me how to take advantage of my day from the second I get up.

Why you should ask me to be your roommate!

Why you should ask me to be your roommate!

Finding an apartment to rent or room to rent in New York City is one of the most time consuming and often aggravating processes in the world. I’ve been going through all the possible websites to find a room to rent or apartment and decided I’d take my search one step farther.  I’ve decided to let the room find me!  As one of my favorite women ever, Whitney Houston, said, Step by Step. I am looking for an apartment or room to rent and I specifically want it to be in Astoria.

I’d make a good roommate. Why? Well, let’s see.

I have a steady job so you know I’ll make my rent. My credit score is high (trust me I checked it today). I’m gay, let’s just put that out there! Who doesn’t want a gay roommate? It’s like having a real life floor length mirror that talks back and will never let you walk out of the apartment in the wrong shoes. I’ll probably spend 3 – 5 days a week away, so you get a roommate while almost living alone. Talk about a quiet roommate right?

I have an adorable pug who loves almost everyone she meets (but she does have standards). She is sweet, well-trained and there isn’t a person on earth who doesn’t fall in love with her. She is American Kennel Club (AKC) approved and she will only spend about 50% of her time in my apartment as I like to take her with me if I will be away.

If that doesn’t make me sound appealing maybe this will… I can cook. I like to consider myself the gay Martha Deen (Paula Deen and Martha Stewarts illegitimate child). Okay, I’m not that good, but I promise I can cook.

I clean, but at the same time don’t mind if you aren’t anally on top of your dishes. Cleaning gives me something to do when I get bored with TV and who are we kidding, TV is boring lately so you can count on a clean apartment.

I’m an excellent mixologist. Seriously though, what gay isn’t? If you like my cooking you’ll love my mixing. Not only do I mix though, I am a really good wine shopper. If you have $10 I can guarantee we can find a good wine to sip while sitting on the couch if we share a roommate movie night together.

I have tons of music a roommate could have access to. That’s obviously just a side perk to living with me. I love music and listen to it most of the time. When I write I rarely write in silence, but I prefer to wear headphones so the music won’t bother you if you aren’t a music person. I’m so considerate that way!

Also, I shouldn’t forget to mention, I am a runner. Runner for life in fact. If you need motivation to get yourself out on the pavement I am your guy (but you don’t have to run with me of course, just putting that sentiment out there).

If you’re a girl I have a few straight guy friends you may just hit it off with, if you are gay I have tons of perfect gay friends and if you are a straight man… all bets are off. Just kidding! If you are a straight man you can just imagine how many hot girl friends I have that I am happy to invite or not invite around.

After four years of living in Manhattan I think it’s time for a change. I want to live in Astoria and bring the Queen out in me! Oh, I mean the Queens out in me.

So what do you think? You want to live with me right? Or you know someone who would? Let me know!

Song of the Day – Empire State of Mind (II) by Alicia Keys

Song of the Day – Empire State of Mind (II) by Alicia Keys

I love both versions of this song, but there is something about this broken down slow version that just calls to me.  It’s on just about every playlist in my iTunes and I listen to it more regularly than most songs.  You just have to love it.