Tag Archives: Music Video

You May Get No Satisfaction… But I Love Britney Spears

anigif_enhanced-buzz-9916-1380726268-17_previewI barely take fan moments because I don’t have a lot of celebrities that I simply adore.  You know how some people are just obsessed with certain musicians, entertainers and actors? Well I have my well known obsession with Whitney Houston, but another obsession I don’t talk about as much is Britney Spears.

People are all over social media trashing her for her dancing in her newest music video.  Blasting the song she released titled Work Bitch saying things like:

Where is the old Britney?

What happened to the Britney that could dance her ass off?

So Over Britney…

Before I address those questions I have to tell you why I feel an obligation to support her and her career.

This isn’t a new obsession.  I fell in love with her from the very first time I had ever heard one of her songs. I remember it as if it was yesterday. Way back in 1999 when I was in middle school …Baby One More TIme was released.  As a gay boy who had not yet come out her album called to me and touched my heart.  I was one of those boys who dreamed of love.  A love that I never thought was possible. I wanted it all. I wanted the first kiss, the feeling of butterflies in my stomach.  I wanted to feel heartbreak, just to know someone loved me enough to break my heart.  I was depressed back then if that wasn’t clear.

None-the-less I was able to lock myself into my bedroom and put in the very first studio album by Britney Spears, …Baby One More Time. I’d play through the songs dreaming of the love, emotions and feelings behind songs like:

  • I Will Be There
  • (You Drive Me) Crazy
  • Deep In My Heart
  • Born to Make You Happy
  • Sometimes
  • and of course …Baby One More Time

The music flowed through me as if the music was dancing in my heart telling me I would find love. I would date. I would find the life that I have now, but back then scared the hell out of me.

Yes, maybe that’s a lot to credit Britney’s music with, but if you don’t believe me you can take a flying leap! Okay, just kidding. I do believe you are welcome to your own opinions.

As I grew Britney continued to inspire me. As I entered high school I realized I couldn’t hide who I was any more so I came out at 16.  It wasn’t easy.  In fact it was terrifying and one of the most painful times of my life.  I’d find myself crying constantly, but have no fear. I was still able to go home and put in the newest album by Britney Spears, Oops…I Did It Again.

I’d play Stronger on repeat.  Because I knew I could do it.  I was a year older, a year wiser and frankly as the song said “I didn’t need anybody”.  I learned that I was strong and my own person.  After a makeover thanks to a team of cheerleaders I launched myself into what I felt was a new persona and regardless of how people felt “What You See Is What You Get” which happened to be another song on Britney’s second studio album.

From there she inspired me to start dancing.  I was scared of what people would think.  Living in Virginia I wasn’t sure how people would take a male dancer.  Yet, I did it and I finally found a hobby that gave me strength, courage and pride. I owe that to watching Britney Spears videos.

With all this said, I simply wanted to say that I adore Britney and consider myself a super fan.  While many people are trashing her new single, Work Bitch, I have to say one thing to them and that is to turn the song or music video off if you don’t like it.  We all have our reasons for continuing to support her career.  She may not be the Britney we once knew, but are you still the person you were in 1999 when she blew onto the scene?

I’m not. I’m not longer a gay boy in middle school hiding the fact that I am gay. I am no longer a high school student trying to figure out the life of a gay man. I am now a 27-year-old man living with my partner in Los Angeles loving my fabulously gay life.

We all change and I am the type of person who embraces change. Britney is a true artist and she is working it.

Paul Ryan is nothing but a liar

Photo from Gawker.com

Paul Ryan, a scam artist to the core, but my question is why is anyone surprised?  Have the republican’s ever proven to not be scam artist when it comes to politics?

I am calling Ryan a liar because of a recent incident I learned of thanks to Gawker.  I am referring to his alleged trip into the philanthropic and volunteering world where he claims to have helped out, along with his wife and children, at a soup kitchen in Ohio.  These wonderfully staged photos show Ryan scrubbing clean, an already clean pot, and his wife walking around holding another perfectly clean pot.

As explained on Gawker:

Among the critics calling out Ryan and his camp for their sham goodwill gesture is Brian J. Antal, president of the Ohio charity that runs the soup kitchen in question.

Speaking with the Washington Post, Antal says Ryan “did not have permission” to stage the photo op, and simply “ramrodded their way” in with the help of a volunteer.

“The photo-op they did wasn’t even accurate,” Antal said. “He did nothing. He just came in here to get his picture taken at the dining hall.”

Indeed, as noted by a pool reporter, the soup kitchen was empty by the time Ryan and his family arrived, and volunteers had already scrubbed clean all the dishes from breakfast. That didn’t stop Ryan, his wife, and their three children from putting on aprons and scrubbing clean dishes for a few minutes while photographers took photos.

Antal said his charity was “apolitical” and couldn’t appear to be picking sides. “I can’t afford to lose funding from these private individuals,” he told the Post. “If this was the Democrats, I’d have the same exact problem.”

As I asked earlier, is anyone surprised that a republican politician who is also running for office is full of it?  The worst part in my opinion is not only that he is he full of it, but his actions actually puts the soup kitchen at risk of losing their funding for getting involved in a political issue.  What was Ryan thinking?  Not only was he too cool to actually show up and feed the hungry, but he puts them at risk for losing this source of food.

I can’t answer what Ryan was thinking beyond saying that I assume his team didn’t plan on this becoming an issue, because they don’t plan well.  They probably borrowed some of George Bush’s methodology.  Let’s not forget his many lies to the American people to make himself look good including the Mission Accomplished announcement in 2003 about the Iraq War, where troops actually continued to fight until 2011 when Barack Obama finally pulled our men and women out.

Why would we vote for another man to be in office that is even remotely like Bush?  Ryan (and Romney) has proven to be a liar, not once, not twice, but multiple times since entering the election on the Romney ticket.  I for one would rather someone who knows what they are doing and is honest with the American people to be Vice President (and President) of the United States.  I know there are going to be people out there that disagree with me and think of Obama as a liar, but we will just have to agree to disagree on this particular topic.

I hope people get out and vote against Romney and Ryan and elect President Obama for a second term.  (Then we can vote Hillary Clinton into office in 2016!)

With this all said, I would like to dedicate a song to Paul Ryan and all his Republican colleagues in politics.

WHITE LIAR by Miranda Lambert

Why are you so interested in everything politics?

Why are you so interested in everything politics?

Why am I so obsessed with politics?   This is a question I get asked often.  Many people prefer not discussing political topics when in social or family situations.  I am not one of those people.  Politics fascinate me.  I don’t care if someone disagrees with me, but I like to hear their logic on a subject (particularly when we disagree) and to hear why the define their political ideology the way they do.  I find that, in my opinion, a lot of people label themselves as something but really have no clue what the label really means.  Politics is an addictive drug for me and this is the story of how I got hooked.

When I was a freshman in high school I lived a very sheltered life.  If a specific topic wasn’t something I needed to know to get through the day I probably didn’t know much about it, whatever “it” may have been.  That’s why I was floored when I first came out of the closet and didn’t receive the exact response I had anticipated and hoped for.  Don’t get my wrong, now everyone in my family is 100% supportive of my being an out and proud gay man.  With that said, I know it came as a bit of a blow when I did announce I was gay, especially at such a young age.

That’s when I felt as if I was forced to truly listen to what defines a conservative and/or Republican versus a liberal and/or Democrat.

It was late in the afternoon and I was sitting in the passenger seat of my sisters silver Chevy Cavalier.  It was parked in the back of a parking lot outside of a Starbucks away from all the other cars in the lot.  My sister said one thing to me after I retold the experience I had of coming out to family, “you came out to everyone? Are… you… crazy?  Do you know how Republican our family is?”

Up until that comment the extent of my understanding of what the label Republican meant was that Republicans always say they are better with money than Democrats and that we just didn’t like democrats.  Other than that I hadn’t had much exposure either way.

I wanted to change  my lack of knowledge on the topic almost immediately after that conversation.  I was so shocked by the delayed acceptance I received from different people in my life that I had to understand why I wasn’t accepted.  Being that the only reason I was given for not being fully accepted was that I was surrounded by republicans, I set off on a quest to understand political ideology, political platforms, political parties and really everything politics.

That night, after the passing commentary from my sister, I immediately started to investigate what defined a republican versus a democrat and I was a bit taken back by what I learned.  I learned a lot at the introduction of my education on politics, but it still took until my freshman year of college to completely announce I was a democrat.  None-the-less the process was started by my coming out and my obsession with politics was started by coming out of the closet.

Over the next few years I learned a bit more each day about the topic, and frankly I still learn a bit more each day, that republicans do in fact suck, especially when it comes to the LGBT equality issues. (Please don’t get mad, not all republicans suck, this is a generalization of the stereotype)

Republicans, and this is more of a generalization, want the government to back off on issues that should be handled privately.  They want less taxes, less deficit, and less regulations and oversight on business.  They want welfare programs to be handled more by religious affiliated groups and charitable organizations as oppose to government welfare systems.  They want small government.  They want their guns.  They want less government intrusion.

That is, less government intrusions on things that are important to their lives, but they want full regulations on all things they view their religion may dictate.

They seem to think the government should have no involvement in healthcare.  That should stay privatized, at least health insurance should.  Yet, they have no problem suggesting that the government regulate abortion clinics, which when looked at logically is actually a clinic promoting women’s healthcare.

Republicans are against estate taxes.  They seem to question why the government should have control over a family matter, yet republicans want the government to get involved in marriage.  Marriage is just as much of a family issues as death.  You can argue that estate taxes is a financial issue, but marriage is as well, in part.  A part of marriage is merging bank accounts, assets, property, etc.  Hence why we have prenuptial agreements.

I also learned that on the fiscal topic republicans still can’t get their head wrapped around their stances to make a logical argument of substance.  They want to cut taxes and decrease the deficit.  Tell me team Romney, how the heck do you plan to pay down the deficit if you cut the country’s income?  Cutting spending will help, but isn’t the end all solution.  We have a load of bills to pay and cutting spending won’t end the deficit.  (Just a suggestion, but maybe Republican’s should call the Clintons for a lesson on economics.  President Clinton did get rid of the deficit and leave a nice economic green light for Bush to ruin.)

Every argument I heard from Republican’s seemed to be so empty, hypocritical and lacking in overall logic.  While I started learning all things politics I realized just how fascinating it all really is.  Politics is life.  Politics is religion. Politics is just freaking entertaining.

I immediately became obsessed after soaking in some of these basic issues, stances and missing puzzle pieces.  I think went to college and my major was all but decided for me by my obsession.  I went straight into political science.  Can I just say one thing?  I miss college!  Being immersed in everything political was a poli sci geeks wet dream.

In one class, US Congress, we learned all about the senate and house of representatives.  Part of the final project was to run a faux campaign for a congressman.  Define the candidates issues clearly and logically.  Write the candidates speeches.  Show that you can win over the constituents.

In the end of the educational period of my life I realized that politics is and will always be a part of life.  I find it highly important for people to be involved in the political realm and to participate to the fullest extent possible.   I feel like politics is just as much a part of who I am as running is!  Narrowing down my obsession to one or two topics is nearly impossible.  I feel like a kid at a candy store when any political issues is broached.  I love soaking in as much information as possible from every side of the aisle.

How could you not like politics?

Dear Mr. President by Pink

Drift Away

Song of the Day – Drift Away the Uncle Kracker version

When I was in middle school I got a CD called 70 Oz of Pure Gold.  The CD was a compilation of classic songs.  One of the songs that was included on it was Dobie Gray’s Drift Away.  From the second I got the CD I would listen to that song repeatedly.  Something about it called to me and  made me play it every time I wanted to spin around the living room belting out the feelings in my heart.

Then in 2003 toward the end of my high school years Uncle Kracker released a new version of the song making it well-known in pop culture.

In high school I wanted nothing more than to be in love. I was battling severe depression at the time and was extremely lonely.  At times I wouldn’t know how to deal with my emotions so I would jump in my car and just cruise around the Northern Virginia area.  At the time I owned a yellow mustang convertible with white leather seats and a white top.  I use to put the top down in nice weather and let the sun beat down on my head.  Then I’d turn the CD player, pick a song and hit the gas.  Almost every time I was alone in the car I would sing out to Uncle Kracker’s new version of the song.

The song made me feel as if love could help make all the negative things in your life less important because love is the only thing that matters.  I thought that being in love or feeling loved would make me feel alive.

With those thoughts in mind I would sing the song as a symbol of hope.  Hope for that Hollywood kind of love to enter my life.  Hope that I’d meet a guy that cares about me so much that he can’t take his eyes or hands off me.  Hope for the kind of love where I know my man is on the other side of the room, but if I look up I know he will be looking at me with a smile because I matter to him.  Hope for the kind of love where every kiss feels like the first kiss, full of passion and light.  At the same time there isn’t a need to over analyze the song.  I sang it because I liked it, simple as that.

I am in a very different place emotionally and mentally today compared to when I was in high school.  I’m not desperate for love, but I do want it and believe in love.  I do still want that Hollywood kind of love.  So today, while driving down the country roads in Virginia to my parents house in the pitch black night, when Drift Away by Uncle Kracker came on the radio I couldn’t help but sing it.  The last time I really listened to the song was when I last lived in Virginia.  Without a thought in my mind I turned up the volume and began singing.  I love the line saying “I want to drift away, won’t you take me away.”  I can’t help but love the song for the memories it brings me, for the meaning behind it and for the fact that it shows me how far I’ve come in life.

Song of the Day – White Girl by Trina

I always joke with my friends about how annoying those prissy sorority type girls are who come into Hell’s Kitchen, take over the bars and restaurants and become rather obnoxious.  With that said, I am pretty sure that is how I approached this weekend.  I just wanted to party, have a blast and not have any cares.  It was NYC Pride after all.

With that said, I have to share this music video that my friend Antoine sent me.  It is absolutely hilariously awesome (and maybe slightly inappropriate).  Sometimes you just want to party like a white girl and let loose.

 

Bobby TBD – Explained – Live Like You Were Dying

Bobby TBD – Explained

What the heck does the TBD stand for?  It’s exactly what you think it stands for, Bobby To Be Determined.  I’ve hinted at the meaning behind the TBD in my earlier posting titled Song of the Day – Say My Name by Destiny’s Child, but I haven’t ever delved into the topic.  This became clear to me after yet another person asked me.  I guess it’s clear to some and confusing to others, which makes sense I guess.

Bobby TBD started as a joke because I need to decide if I am going to keep my married last name of Argabrite or change my last name now that I will not longer be apart of the family this name is associated with.  Once the joke died a handful of close friends started talking to me about how perfect TBD defined my current situation and life.

Since I was 18 I defined myself by my relationship.  That is no ones fault but my own, but in the process I lost myself.  I changed my appearance and style over the past 8 years.  I changed my name.  I changed my surroundings.  I changed my friends at times.  I changed my hobbies.  Frankly speaking, I molded myself to my relationship which kind of explains why I am where I am.

Now, at 26, I get to jump head first into a new life.  I get to determine everything for myself.  What’s my personality?  What is my style?  What are my hobbies?  What are my past times?  Who are my friends?

With this all said, at the same time I am not who I was 8 years ago.  I have had many positive changes in my life over the past 8 years.  I have had a pretty good life really.  There are many things that I love about my life currently.  Moving forward I get to find myself.  I get to merge the old me, the married me and the growing me into one person.

The biggest change right now is to live on the edge.  I wrote about this earlier in my I Wanna Be Bad posting.  It all comes down to the fact that I’ve lived my life so afraid of what could happen that I haven’t tested the waters to see if what could happen in life could very well be a good thing.

Entering this process to define myself I have begun to branch out.  I caved and had sushi a few weeks ago.  I never would have done that before and I loved it.  I went to Skyroom, a bar I never would have gone to before because it is the scene, yet I loved it.  I am going on a Pride party boat this weekend, which again would have been something I never would have considered.  I already love it!  Oddly, the thing I look most forward to is all the exercise related activities I am taking on. Running has always been a part of my life, but now I am going to get back into racing!  That is me.  It’s in my blood.  I am also going to start Yoga.  Well, I’ll give it a try.  I think having an exercise rich life will be me, but it’s still to be determined.

And maybe I won’t love everything I try and experience moving forward, but I am testing life.  I am defining myself.  Finding out what there is in life and what I like or don’t like.  Bobby is to be determined and I am going to be me for me and living life for me for a while.  I think that’s what’s best and I am excited (and admittedly a bit nervous) about it!  For a while I am going to live like I am dying.   Close my eyes and take chances.  Let my OCD and anxieties wash over me and dive head first into everything.  I guess there could be worse ways to deal with divorce or a breakup right?

Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw

Song of the Day – I Wanna Be Bad by Willa Ford

Song of the Day – I Wanna Be Bad by Willa Ford

I woke up today in a feisty mood.  Have you ever felt like your life had been boxed in?  Like you weren’t experiencing the world around you?  I am done living my life based off an iPhone calendar minute by minute.  It’s time to think outside the box.

That thought process is exactly what led me to finally plan my trip to Rehoboth Beach, DE.  Last night I spent an hour planning out this trip with a friend Dustin for a tweetup meetup with him and Twitter friends we have.  It got me thinking about how much I just need to let loose (in a safe and orderly way of course) and it definitely helped me get excited for my upcoming two week trip to Virginia.  I can’t decide which trip will be the most lively, but I know both will give me a wild ride.

I realized a few weeks ago, maybe a month ago, that sometimes you just have to have some fun.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself and let your hair down.   I just want to be bad.  I am sick of being a southern bell buttoned up with ridiculous posture.  That persona is exactly why some of my friends nicknamed me Pearl last year.  Pearl was a reference to a persona they joked I had. They described me as being an older southern WASP housewife.  The image was always of me sitting in the corner watching over them sipping my vodka martini and twirling my pearls.

Now that my life is changing I kind of just want to have a bit of fun for a while.  Watching my friends having picnics in the park, running in groups, going to the beach, dancing through the night just has me wanting to live a little.  I am twenty-six years old.  It’s about time I start to act like it.  Everything that I can be I am going to be.  Skyroom dancing on a Sunday?  Why not?  Trip to Rehoboth with friends on a whim… Don’t mind if I do!

Who knows what is in store for me but I think it’s going to involve marathons, hiking, scuba diving, dancing and trying out just about everything my mind can think of.

I Wanna Be Bad by Willa Ford

Song of the Day – I’m A Good Girl from Burlesque by Christina Aguilera

Song of the Day – I’m A Good Girl from Burlesque by Christina Aguilera

Is it me or can you picture me as Christina in this video.  Sometimes a person is just misunderstood.  I may be a little scandalous, flirty and dress a bit out of the box, but it doesn’t mean I’m not a good girl.  I’m southern at heart and believe dinner comes first.  I may not be perfect, but I am good where necessary.  I’m not out there with random men all over the place or dating people through Twitter hundreds of miles away like some may think.  Divorce still defines me after all.  I am not crazy in the least and always am a good boy.

Really don’t have much else to add as of right now, but do just love the song and picture myself dancing up a staircase belting this out with a pearl necklace on and some stylish white shoes.

Oooo Girl – Cher is owning me with Believe today

Believe by Cher

Can I just take a gay moment here for a second?  I mean, I know I take very few gay moments as it is.  Cher is owning me with this song today.  Do you believe in love after love or life after love?  Goodness knows after my relationship of 7.5 years coming to an end I have been devastated but none-the-less I do believe love is out there for me.

I do believe there is a guy out there who will treat me like a prince and appreciate all my rough edges.  I might be a lot to tame, but there is a man out there who will know just how to tame me.  Someone who will appreciate how brightly my flame burns and will dance with me as I flicker throughout this life.

In the meantime though I am going to dance in the dark and believe in love after love and life after love.  I will continue to have a blast, be my loud and annoying self and most importantly embrace all the love and support I get from my friends, family and twitter-sphere.

Becoming Miss(ter) Independent and My Horoscope

Becoming Miss(ter) Independent and My Horoscope

Yes, I realize that I have written about my feelings in regards to horoscopes already, but this is pretty much exact to my day so far.  My horoscope today says:

Learning to be Miss(ter) Independent

Monday, June 18, 2012 – You might be in emotional distress today, finding it difficult to ask for what you want. Your thoughts seem to be buzzing around in never-ending circles as they continue to grow more intense. Controlling your impulses is your smartest strategy to keep things from unraveling now. Thankfully, there’s no need to be overly concerned because your mood will likely shift midday, enabling you to settle down and accomplish your goals.

via Taurus horoscope for Monday, June 18, 2012.

If you read any of my morning tweets or my song of the day blog earlier about being totally f*cked you are already aware that I woke up in a mood that is very accurately defined as “emotionally distressed”.  I kind of wanted to smack myself in the face a bit this morning.  Life is a bitch, this is no lie, but I feel like I am too hard on myself at times.

Now that it is one in the afternoon I am starting to come around to a more confident mood again.  I am sure that processing a divorce is going to cause me multiple mood swings over the next year even though I think the divorce is the best thing for me.  Partying a bit too hard last night doesn’t help things either.  I should know not to go out so hard when my emotions are such a mess as is, but at the same time I am going through a lot and it’s only natural to not be totally in control every once in a while.  No one said divorce was going to be easy right?

Now I just need to stick to the one line in the horoscope saying to control my impulses.  My impulses are crazy lately.   I plan to stick with my decision this morning to not drink as much as I have been for a while.  Maybe I won’t completely cut alcohol out of my life for a month like I did in May, but I will cut it drastically back.  With that decided I will increase my exercise routines drastically.

No more of the 3 day a week running routine.  I have a new New York Sports Club gym membership.  It’s time I put it to work!  It’s time I make exercise a 5 day a week routine at least.

Two friends and a therapist also suggested I incorporate Yoga into my life.  I’ve never been much of  a Yoga person, but I honestly never gave it a real shot either.  I’m sure it will help with my stress levels and at the same time help increase flexibility… which, let’s be honest, if I am going to be single I need to be flexible when it comes time to start dating again!  Men like boys whose hamstrings aren’t overly tight from running (too much information?).

I also think acupuncture will help, but I haven’t really looked into it yet.

All of this is obtainable and as my mood has changed midday (as my horoscope indicated it would) I feel like goals aren’t too far out there if I just settle down a bit.  Reaching these goals are important because I think they will help me get myself to a better mental place.  I’ll be able to handle my emotions better as I dive headfirst through the recovery process of having the last 7 1/2 years of my life washed away as if a tsunami crashed on top of me.  Most importantly sticking to these goals and doing these things will help me understand, be come comfortable with and be confident in being independent, something I am not totally comfortable with (as I explained earlier).

Really what it boils down to, and I don’t want to repeat anything from my song of the day blog, but I just need confidence.  Achieving these goals, which seem relatively basic and simple in theory, will help me regain confidence in myself.  I have to remind myself that I am going to be a hot mess from time to time as I go through all of the hellish things I have been going through and not to beat myself up to much for it.  I just have to find myself and not listen to the discouragement I receive that this person I am slowly starting to introduce to the light isn’t a person worth introducing to the light.

Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson