Tag Archives: Gay

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The Real Gay Showmance on BB16, Cody Calafiore and his Fans

It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for! It’s time to talk about one of the under talked about homoerotic reality tv show romances.  No, I’m not talking about Frankie Grande and Zach Rance, although I will be talking about them later today or tomorrow.  Today I am talking about the homoerotic showmance between the stunningly flawless Cody Calafiore and pretty much every gay fan of CBS Big Brother!

When Cody waltzed into the Big Brother house I’m pretty sure mouths dropped and drool dribbled from a number of the gay men who watch the show.  Not to miss an opportunity, Big Brother has made sure that Cody has been featured in a number of highly sexy and homoerotic scenes and shots since the beginning of the season. It’s as if a new form of showmance has begun with fans wagging their tongues at the innocent faced heart-throb.

I’m not complaining! Would you complain about having to watch this on TV?

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Yet, after looking at him for a while I started to question his professional role as a Sales Account Executive.  With his face I believe he would make a good sales person.  Then my friend sent me a link to an article on Instinct and I realized that Cody’s face isn’t the only thing that will help him sale a product.

That’s right boys, Cody Calafiore has modeled for the gay favorited underwear brand CN2.  Man can he sale products.

Cody really stands out in the house this season.  He hasn’t shown a lot of game play yet, but his game has been going smoothly.  He is attractive 24 hours a day 7 days a week.  He is comfortable in his sexuality, as a straight man to clarify.  He isn’t a jerk like some of the other men in the house like Devin Shepherd and Caleb. All and all he is a nice guy with a talent for attracting attention to himself.

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Show pictures:

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The Real Book Club of West Hollywood

It’s been over a week since I last posted something and that’s because… life happens. I got busy with work, personal life, trying to get my healthy living routine on track, but I am back.  The first post of the week is in honor of my book club!

If you have ever been a part of a book club you know they can either be really fun or really boring. Ours is on the fun side.

Interested in joining? Check out this video:

THE REAL BOOK CLUB OF WEST HOLLYWOOD

Paola Shea and Zach Rance on CBS Big Brother 16.

Big Brother 16 Episode 8 Thoughts and Recap

It was the second Big Brother eviction night and I was not let down.  It’s like my friend Christopher said in a comment on yesterday’s post, “I can’t stand Devin, but I’ll be sad when he leaves because he’s so crazy he’s good TV.”  I personally will not be sad when he leaves, but I can’t argue that he creates some amazing television.

The Nominations and Evictions: If you caught Wednesday night’s episode then you know the house was rocked by the Veto Ceremony when Devin removed Brittany Martinez from the block and replaced her with Zach.  Last night’s episode let us know exactly what went down after the insane move by Devin.

First off let’s talk game play here. Devin has targets on his back from all across the house.  His biggest target up until last night was Brittany, but after Zach lost his patience with Devin’s crazy antics Zach ended up falling into Devin’s cross-hairs. This left Devin pretty screwed.  His alliance was crumbling around him and he still had Brittany on the Block. If he was smart he would never have negotiated with anyone and stuck to his original plan.

He should have removed Paola from the block and kept Brittany on. That way the house would have been forced to either remove Zach who he can’t trust or Brittany who he hasn’t liked since day one.  Instead he stabbed Paola in the back and left her on the block to compete against Zach for elimination.

With that decision all hell broke loose in the house.  Brittany called Paola out for throwing the Battle of the Block competition letting her know that she was her target this week.  Paola admitted to throwing the competition because she trusted Devin, but now insists that the entire house should watch their backs around him.  She is right. He is 100% untrustworthy for everyone in the house because he is unstable.

Paola and Zach both gave pretty much the exact same “save me” speech.  Basically both agree that Devin should be on the block and the one to go home, but at the end of the day they both want to stay. Both declared that if they were to stay Devin would be their only target and no one in the house would have to worry.

Then Zach did something unthinkable, he called Frankie out for being untrustworthy and it was pretty clear that Frankie didn’t have Zach’s best interest in mind. To be fair, Frankie is in it to win it, not to just enjoy flirtations with a straight guy.

Zach ultimately had the most votes to stay in the game.  I am not at all surprised. He still has the members of his former alliance on his side and most of the house. The only two people to vote against him was Donny, who is Paola’s best friend in the house and Jocasta, who is just removed from the rest of the house.

The HOH Competition: The evictions were quickly followed by the HOH game.  It was one of those games where the houseguests roll a ball down a field and try to get their ball to land in the highest number at the other end. There really is no skill to the game, but it does keep you holding your breath.

Up until the last player went it looked like Frankie and Nicole were going to become the new HOHs of the week, but Derrick came out of nowhere and knocked Frankie off the HOH platform.  Frankly, I’m fine with that. As long as Derrick and Nicole stick with the idea of getting Devin out they won’t get blood on their hands and my least favorite person will be booted from the house.

Zrankie: I’m sad to say I think our hopes of a gay showmance happening this season is coming to an end.  After the trust between the unlikely couple, Frankie and Zach, dissipated I can only imagine their flirtations will as well.  Let’s wait and see, but Zach is one faux-boyfriend who is in the dog house this week!

At least there is a lot of homoerotic fun this season even if we won’t get to see two men fall in love or kiss.

Paola Shea and Donny Thompson: I haven’t written much about their relationship, but I have to say I was so touched by Paola’s tears as she watched Donny’s farewell video.  When I first saw Paola’s introductory clip I immediately judged her. I thought she would be shallow and annoying all season.  I had visions of her running around the house screaming like a cracked out sorority girl, but she never behaved badly like that.

Donny, well when I first saw him I didn’t know what to think. Frankly my first thought was that he was going to be ignorant, not relate to anyone in the house and a redneck.  I miss judged him as well.  Truth be told, he seems like the sweetest guy in the house.  He has a huge heart and knows how to stay out of the drama.

The two of them together were relationship gold. One of my best friends is a 50+ year-old woman who I met during my first job out of college.  Friends come in all types and that’s what Donny and Paola showed me. They reminded me that your friends can be anyone as long as they make you happy and feel good about yourself.  There was something so poetic about how they interacted together.

Showmances: I have to ask, since I am not watching the live feeds or spoiler blogs, what showmances are in the works?  Is this going to be a season of no showmances? That’s half the fun for me. It makes a reality show a chick flick all in one and I live for it!

Bobby and Blair in 2012 after first starting to date at Boxers NYC.

After 8 years, we had our first date!

2004:

Remember the days before Grindr and OkCupid?  When we had to either use antiquated social sites like XY.com or Gay.com to find other gay men in our area to be friends with, or to do other things with?  Back in 2004 I was one of those people using XY.com to see who else was out there.

Virginia was a lonely world for a gay guy in his late teen years.  I wanted friends or a guy to date.  I found a lot of frogs in that time, but no princes.  To be fair I was in high school and about to head off to college.  I didn’t really know what I wanted at that time.

None-the-less I searched longingly to fill an emptiness inside of me.  Then one day I got a message from a guy on XY.com.  He was cute, but a bit older.  I was a senior in a Virginia high school and he was a freshman at American University in Washington, DC.  We talked for a while on AIM, that’s American Online Instant Messenger for you young kids out there, and tried a few times to go on a date. I loved chatting with him online. He was forward, but honest.  He was sweet and always knew what to say. He made me laugh every day.

At that point in my life I thought laughter was gone from my world, but he had reintroduced it to me. Unfortunately with his just having started college and my trying to wrap up high school we never got the chance to meet in person before I packed up my bags and moved off to college.

2008:

In December of 2007 I graduated from college a semester early.  My boyfriend at the time really wanted to move to New York City and I figured it sounded like fun so I went along for the ride.

When I arrived in New York I realized I didn’t know anyone besides the boyfriend I moved up with.  At this point in my life my online world had already started to expand.  I was on Myspace and Facebook and used them both regularly.

One day when I was sitting bored in my Hell’s Kitchen apartment I decided to see if I could find anyone from my past who may have moved to New York as well via Facebook.  I signed into my account and synced all my contacts into my Facebook profile.  First my AIM contacts, which included that adorably sweet guy from American University who use to chat with me my senior year of high school.

He popped up as someone from my contact list who was also living in New York City now.  I was excited to say the least.  I kind of knew someone and possibly could make a friend.  No, we couldn’t date at this point because I had a boyfriend, but I figured everyone needs friends.

I decided to make the bold move to write him. I was going to be throwing a birthday bar crawl for a friend so I decided to invite him to that. A group situation to break the ice seemed like a good idea.

Our Facebook conversation started February 21, 2008:

Blair responded to my invitation: hey hun, not sure how we know each other, or what party I am supposed to attend, but I guess if you’re coming to NYC to party let me know where and when, k, hope you have a good bday!

Realizing that I probably sounded a bit crazy since we hadn’t ever met or talked since 2004 I thought I should say more. I added someone I talked to 4 years earlier on a dating website to my Facebook page, invited him to a birthday party and expected him to remember me and come. I tried my best to reign in my crazy.

I wrote him back: I did the find which of your AIM contacts are on Facebook.  I decided to check my old screen name from when I lived outside of DC.  I think we met when you were in college at American University.  Now that I live up here in NYC I figured I’d add you as a friend because it never hurts and I really know no one up here lol. I know it seems random!

I guess Blair realized that his original message was a bit curt so he replied:

Blair’s response on Facebook: No, I wasn’t trying to be mean, just confused and didn’t want to ignore you or anything. That’s totally cool, when I moved up here I didn’t know a ton of people either but now I have a really great group of gay friends and girlfriends from work, etc. So yea, if you and your bf or whomever are ever interested in going out just let me know, they’re a lot of fun. And as I said last night I was kinda confused about when and where your party is so if your having one let me know. Have a good day!

Our conversation continued for a couple more exchanges. I tried my hardest to engage with him and he entertained me to an extent, but as he tells me now he didn’t see much of a point. I had a boyfriend and he wasn’t interested in just being friends.

He never showed up at the party i was throwing and we didn’t get to meet that year. I wasn’t all that surprised, but it was worth a shot to run into him again after 4 years.

2009:

Nonchalantly, as all of us do, Blair and I wished each other Happy Birthday on Facebook when our birthday’s came around.  While we both arbitrarily invited each other to our birthday parties that year, neither of us went to the others. Our lives continued on separate paths.

2010:

While living in Hell’s Kitchen on 47th Street between 8th and 9th Avenues I was walking Evian when I noticed a guy walking toward me.  At this point I was married to the guy who I had moved to New York City with, so was still unavailable.

None-the-less the guy caught my eye.  I am only human after all.  As he got closer I could tell he was looking at me too.  He was incredibly sexy.  His walk screamed of confidence. His outfit was fitted and stylish and his scruff was so sexy I could hardly take my eyes off it until I noticed his eyes.

He must have noticed me staring because he kindly said hi as he passed. Once we were a few feet past each other we turned, smiled and waved acknowledging that we knew we had just passed each other in person for the first time since we had started talking in 2004.

Sadly, I was taken and he was walking to meet a guy for a date. The stars were not aligned for us at this point.

2012:

In 2012 I split with my now ex-husband.  Divorces take a long time, but one month after announcing publicly that I was no longer married I got a message that changed my life forever.

I remember it like it was yesterday.  I was sitting at my desk at Roosevelt Hospital in Midtown Manhattan when I noticed my Facebook was blinking.  Someone had either sent me a message or made a comment.  I decided to check it out.

Blair wrote me a private Facebook message on June 27, 2012: So, I know this is kinda random, but I see your pictures on Instagram and Facebook all the time and always thought you were such a cutie. I know we chatted ages ago, but I guess I didn’t realize you were single until very recently.  Would it be too forward to ask you out for a drink sometime? Hope you’re enjoying this lovely day. ~ Blair.

I think I read the message twenty times before calling over my work-wife Daisy to read the message with me and stock his Facebook photos.  A couple of guys had asked me out since the divorce and I had gone on dates, but none had excited me as much as this guy.

I was hesitant but after ten minutes I wrote him back, “Hi Blair”.  Then I must have had further hesitations because it took me two more minutes before I fully responded.

My full response sent on Facebook: You are just the sweetest.  I haven’t been single all that long, or at least public about it, so I’m not surprised you didn’t notice.  I think a drink would be nice. I do remember we use to talk when we both live in the DC area but never were able to meet up.  I am leaving for Virginia early Friday morning and won’t be back until July 12th. Anytime after that would be wonderful. My number is xxx-xxx-xxxx and of course I do think you are cute as well, and a little forwardness is always welcome!

After about 15 minutes he hadn’t responded and my nerves were getting the better of me.  I was asking myself a hundred questions. Was I ready to date?  Am I moving to quickly?  If I wait

Then my conscience started to scream at me.  I couldn’t resist writing more because I felt guilty and as if people would judge me for dating.

I wrote: I do have to be honest though, not sure if I am looking to date at the moment, but a drink doesn’t hurt if that sounds good to you.

Smooth, so freaking smooth.  I guess playing hard to get has never been my strength.  Luckily Blair is patient. He has waited since 2004 to take me on a date, so dealing with a little hesitation didn’t seem much of an issue.

Blair responded like a gentleman: Well that all sounds fine, and I completely understand if you’re not looking to date, I’m kind of in an in-between stage myself, so maybe we can just get a drink and see how it goes, haha. The summer is crazy, I’m in and out a lot as well, but we should be able to find a time after the 12th. (I’m in Chicago July 14-17) Do you wanna just pencil in the 19th and revisit when we get closer?

My response:  Yes, we can pencil in the 19th. That works perfectly for me. I work in Hell’s Kitchen so I can stay in the area post work . If I come back from my trip earlier I’ll let you know. My trip is very up in the air at the moment as it’s last minute and things at the office are so crazy busy.  Chat soon or see you on the 19th .

I was due to take a two to three-week trip to my parents. I was very fortunate because my job at the time let me travel to my parents since my life had so much going on to get my head on straight.  I thought it would be perfect to get me out of the city and away from my ex.

In the days building up to my trip Blair and I started to exchange Facebook messages and text messages.  My attraction to him was growing with every day.

By the time I got to my parents we were chatting regularly.  I obviously through playing hard to get out of the window, until my parent’s home came into play.  Their home tried to force me to play hard to get.

You see, they live in the middle of no where Virginia.  The first day I was at their house a storm hit Virginia and Washington, D.C.  Power and cell towers were knocked out throughout the area.  This was an issue that lasted for about a week.

My parents are fortunate enough to have a land line for phone calls and a backup generator that can give electricity to the guest house I was staying in, but not to the main house.  My trip wasn’t ruined, but I couldn’t get on the internet to chat with Blair there.  I couldn’t text him or call him from my cell phone either.  To top it all off he was in Cape Code with his friend and I didn’t want to interrupt his trip by calling him from the landline. We hadn’t even met after all.

Yet, I learned quickly what type of guy Blair is.  Without hesitation or question he called my parents home that first night to talk to me.  He enjoyed talking to me and getting to know me.  I enjoyed talking to him just as much.  As if we were living decades earlier we started a courtship for two weeks over the phone.

When I could, I would drive the hour and a half to Richmond, VA were I could get service on my cell phone. That allowed us to send each other pictures of our trips and further connect with each other.

By July 11th I was dying to get back to New York City.  When I left I never wanted to go back, but after two weeks of talking to Blair on the phone I couldn’t wait. We got to know everything about each other.  We had no choice, but to talk and learn about each other’s lives.  I think that is something missing in a lot of relationships today.  Thanks to apps like Grindr people often meet, have sex and move on with their lives.

When the time came for me to decide if I would stay an extra week or go back to New York City I decided I had to go back to New York City.  My mother and I hopped in the car and began the long drive up the east coast.  The entire time Blair and I texted each other and sent pictures as I made my way back to the city. He was already back from his trip.

My mom and I arrived around 5 pm.  She had to continue on to Connecticut for a business meeting, but I had business to take care of as well.  I unloaded the car, put Evian in my apartment and immediately headed to Queens.  Blair and I couldn’t wait any longer. We mutually decide that July 19th wouldn’t work.  The moment I got back to the city on July 11th I ran to the subway and our relationship began. We met for the first time in person and never looked back. 

Two years later I have to say, he is every bit as amazing and thoughtful as he had been those first two weeks while I was in Virginia.  He is a gentleman that wants only the best for me.

2014

Today we celebrate our two-year anniversary.  It’s been the best two years of my life.  We’ve moved across the country together and started a new life. We adopted a second dog and began to form our family.  Most importantly, we have decided to get married.  Sometimes I just have to sit back and remind myself that I have a pretty amazing life and an extraordinary partner.

I’m  not a patient person, but sometimes the best things in life are worth the wait!

 

 

 

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It’s a Gay Extravaganza on CBS Big Brother 16

If Zrankie isn’t going to give us the full on gay showmance some of us are sitting on the edge of our seats waiting for I have to thank Big Brother for at least feeding our interest in two good-looking men enjoying each other.  Yet, they aren’t just feeding out interest with two men fondling each other.  They have given us two homoerotic fantasies in one season. Zach and Frankie vs. Cody and Frankie. Yet, only one of the three is gay! Frankie Grande is one of the luckiest gay men on the planet right now.

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Frankie Grande and Cody Calafiore on CBS Big Brother 16

Ariana Grande said it herself, that if Frankie was going to be in a showmance she would prefer it be with Cody instead of Zach.  I don’t care who Frankie has a showmance with any more as long as he keeps getting these so-called straight men to flirt with him.

I have to say, Zach has grown on my substantially over the past couple of weeks. I strongly disliked him from the get go.  Then CBS highlighted a bit of his relationship with Frankie this past week.  Zach let us know that he claims to be 100% straight, but none-the-less loves gay men and in a way thinks of Frankie as a boyfriend.  He is fun to talk with, flirt with and cuddle with.

Frankie Grande and Zach Rance on CBS Big Brother 16
Frankie Grande and Zach Rance on CBS Big Brother 16

Believe it or not, this is actually a reality.  I have met many straight men out there that enjoy flirting with gay men. They are my favorite type of straight man.  You get hit on, without the guy being too inappropriate or aggressive.  They even become protective in a way, which I have always found comfort in. I knew a guy like that back in high school.

He would probably kill me for talking about it, but we never did anything inappropriate. I don’t know what he thought of our relationship, but I love it.  He cared about me. He flirted with me. He’d even put his hand on my leg as we drove down the street together.  He knew everything about me and I trusted him.  The worst thing to happen to me was to lose that friendship.

When we graduated high school he went off to a military affiliated college, joined the military, got married and has kept a pretty low profile in my life.  It’s shame.  We may not have agreed on politics or religion… ever… we did have a natural connection.

With that all said, I do believe that it is possible for Zach to have the feelings he says he has toward Frankie without being gay.  Do I think it is true in this situation. No, I kind of don’t. I think I am too hopeful for some gay love on CBS’ Big Brother to let him off the hook.

None the less, CBS is continuing to give us gays and lovers of gays the opportunity to salivate.  During week one they let the houseguests play in a photo booth.  Why haven’t more people shown me these pictures? Tons of you Facebook, Tweet and talk to me about this show and the gay themes this year, but no one showed me this! What is wrong with you.

Enjoy the homoerotic nature of these photo booth pictures. Maybe I am team Crankie (maybe Frankie and Cody need a different combined name haha).  SO who makes the better couple?

 

Zankie: The Showmance Video

Am I in heaven? Yes I am!  I don’t know what I did right this week to deserve this, but it’s like the gift that won’t stop giving.  Just hours ago I found out about the interesting, affectionate relationship that is forming between Big Brother houseguests Zach and Frankie.  What? 

My head is spinning.  I’m so excited I don’t know what to do. With all my hopes, I’m crossing my fingers wishing for a Big Brother gay kiss. Until then we can hope!  

I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I have been too excited to post this video on bobbytbd.com until now because I had to immediately start sharing it with my friends.  Season after season of Big Brother I have been waiting for a gay showmance.  We’ve had gay houseguests, but we haven’t seen them actually get to be gay, in a way.  Are tides changing inside the house?  Is the douche Zach really a sweet cuddle man? You tell me!

Mama Tits is on the far right!

Mama Tits Educates Ant-gay Protesters at Seattle Pride!

Have you ever seen Tits explode?  Well I have and you don’t know what you are missing!

Oh, I’m sorry, get your head out of the gutter.  I don’t mean tits as in the slang word for boobs.  I am referring to the lovely and talented drag queen by the name of Mama Tits.  A woman with an eye on what’s right and a force to be reckoned with.

It’s taken years for me to learn that sometimes somethings are just not worth fighting.  A lot of people out there are stead fast in their beliefs no matter how ignorant or misguided they are.  There is just no getting through to them. One of the things I have learned that isn’t worth fighting is anti-gay protesters.  They are always going to hate.  None-the-less I do think it’s great when someone who has a platform and a large voice who can reach audiences stands up for what is right.

That’s exactly what happened at Seattle’s Gay Pride event.  Drag Queen, Mama Tits, took her microphone and confronted the protesters head on. Acting as a crusader she used a mature approach to the irrational group.

Instead of fighting blindly she stayed calm and stuck to the facts. Why don’t you read the bible before you preach about it?  That’s the question I got from the exchange.  Picking and choosing which parts of the bible you want to follow isn’t what any religion intended.

Mama Tits may not have gotten anything through to the protesters, but she did inspire people in the audience and people all over social media with her decision to address the protest. I applaud her and hope we have more voices like hers fighting the good fight for full acceptance and equality for the LGBT community.

Check out Mama Tits schooling these ignorant fools.  Nose to tits, words were said.

End hate… don’t protest a Fred Phelps Funeral

Fred Phelps protesting and spreading hate.
Fred Phelps protesting and spreading hate.

Fred Phelps has died and so has my ability to write apparently. All I have wanted to do was write about his passing and what my feelings and thoughts are about it.  Like many members of society, particularly being a member of the LGBT community and an Army son, I am not sad to see him go.  None-the-less I do have a lot of feelings about his passing because of the hate he spewed and the revolting things he did in his life.

As the founder of one of the countries most notorious “hate churches”, which I consider to be a group that operates more like a cult mired in hate speech and rhetoric as oppose to an actual Christian church, has made a name for himself by way of his unbelievably un-Christian methods of preaching what he believes to be the word of God. He, along with his church named the Westboro Baptist Church, are responsible for picketing over 53,000 events from funerals of slain soldiers, to funerals for members of the LGBT community, and at events like Lady Gaga concerts.  Let’s not forget when they planned to protest the funerals of 1st graders who lost their lives in the tragic school shooting in Newton, CT. All of this was done with the intent to protest America for homosexuality and spread hate.

I remember when Jerry Falwell passed away and many supporters of the LGBT community and other liberal groups rejoiced, but that “celebration” made me rather uncomfortable. Does celebrating the death of someone as horrible as Jerry Falwell of Fred Phelps make us no better than them? That’s a scary thought because I don’t want to be anything like either of these men.  I want to live in a world free of prejudice, racism and hate. It’s a lofty dream, but one that won’t gain much movement if those of us that are on the right side of history are busy rejoicing in the death of men we hate.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have much sympathy for these men. They left the world with legacies that compete closely with those of men like  Hitler, Stalin, Osama bin Laden, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, Jared lee Loughner, Timothy McVeigh, Rousas John Rushdoony, Jerry Falwell, and Rev. D. James Kennedy.  It’s natural for people to feel relief or other positive emotions upon learning of the deaths of men like this.

Yet, does that mean we should protest Fred Phelps funeral? This is a question I have heard mentioned many times in the news and on social media networks.  My answer is simple and straight forward.  No, we shouldn’t protest the funeral of Fred Phelps.  We would be no better than him and all the remaining members of the Westboro Baptist Church.  While I don’t really know what my religion is I do believe that since he has died it is time for him to meet his maker and let his God cast judgement upon him.

Our job, now that he has passed, is to make sure we learn from him and this awful church.  We need to use his life and failures as educational tools for our youth.  We should show our children how the hate that he spewed did nothing but cause pain, anger and hurt.  We should be the bigger people.

My dad, a retired colonel in the army, always told me to remember the golden rule:

Treat others how you want to be treated.

Rise above and don’t give his family, I mean his cult, I’m truly sorry but I actually mean his church a larger voice than they already have. Don’t think twice about it, they would rejoice in our copying their behaviors and protesting his funeral proving that we are no better than them.

Additionally, his daughter has stated that a funeral will not be held because her church doesn’t worship the dead. As a church that believes themselves to be Christian they should realize that Jesus Christ was a man and if they worship Jesus Christ then they worship the dead.  This proves that we need to take this opportunity to educate people who he has brainwashed with years of hate speech.  They are so desensitized they won’t remember their father’s memory with a funeral.  They are so blinded by his preaching that -keep-calm-do-something-to-end-hatethey don’t even know what Christianity is.

I may be stuck on what to say about his passing, but what I can say is that we need to rise above him, above the Westboro Baptist church and all of its members.

Let’s end hate. Hate breeds hate and the only thing we will accomplish by returning his hate with our own is a continued escalation of negativity.  We, Americans, are better than that aren’t we?

You May Get No Satisfaction… But I Love Britney Spears

anigif_enhanced-buzz-9916-1380726268-17_previewI barely take fan moments because I don’t have a lot of celebrities that I simply adore.  You know how some people are just obsessed with certain musicians, entertainers and actors? Well I have my well known obsession with Whitney Houston, but another obsession I don’t talk about as much is Britney Spears.

People are all over social media trashing her for her dancing in her newest music video.  Blasting the song she released titled Work Bitch saying things like:

Where is the old Britney?

What happened to the Britney that could dance her ass off?

So Over Britney…

Before I address those questions I have to tell you why I feel an obligation to support her and her career.

This isn’t a new obsession.  I fell in love with her from the very first time I had ever heard one of her songs. I remember it as if it was yesterday. Way back in 1999 when I was in middle school …Baby One More TIme was released.  As a gay boy who had not yet come out her album called to me and touched my heart.  I was one of those boys who dreamed of love.  A love that I never thought was possible. I wanted it all. I wanted the first kiss, the feeling of butterflies in my stomach.  I wanted to feel heartbreak, just to know someone loved me enough to break my heart.  I was depressed back then if that wasn’t clear.

None-the-less I was able to lock myself into my bedroom and put in the very first studio album by Britney Spears, …Baby One More Time. I’d play through the songs dreaming of the love, emotions and feelings behind songs like:

  • I Will Be There
  • (You Drive Me) Crazy
  • Deep In My Heart
  • Born to Make You Happy
  • Sometimes
  • and of course …Baby One More Time

The music flowed through me as if the music was dancing in my heart telling me I would find love. I would date. I would find the life that I have now, but back then scared the hell out of me.

Yes, maybe that’s a lot to credit Britney’s music with, but if you don’t believe me you can take a flying leap! Okay, just kidding. I do believe you are welcome to your own opinions.

As I grew Britney continued to inspire me. As I entered high school I realized I couldn’t hide who I was any more so I came out at 16.  It wasn’t easy.  In fact it was terrifying and one of the most painful times of my life.  I’d find myself crying constantly, but have no fear. I was still able to go home and put in the newest album by Britney Spears, Oops…I Did It Again.

I’d play Stronger on repeat.  Because I knew I could do it.  I was a year older, a year wiser and frankly as the song said “I didn’t need anybody”.  I learned that I was strong and my own person.  After a makeover thanks to a team of cheerleaders I launched myself into what I felt was a new persona and regardless of how people felt “What You See Is What You Get” which happened to be another song on Britney’s second studio album.

From there she inspired me to start dancing.  I was scared of what people would think.  Living in Virginia I wasn’t sure how people would take a male dancer.  Yet, I did it and I finally found a hobby that gave me strength, courage and pride. I owe that to watching Britney Spears videos.

With all this said, I simply wanted to say that I adore Britney and consider myself a super fan.  While many people are trashing her new single, Work Bitch, I have to say one thing to them and that is to turn the song or music video off if you don’t like it.  We all have our reasons for continuing to support her career.  She may not be the Britney we once knew, but are you still the person you were in 1999 when she blew onto the scene?

I’m not. I’m not longer a gay boy in middle school hiding the fact that I am gay. I am no longer a high school student trying to figure out the life of a gay man. I am now a 27-year-old man living with my partner in Los Angeles loving my fabulously gay life.

We all change and I am the type of person who embraces change. Britney is a true artist and she is working it.

Sometimes even I realize I’m too much!

This morning I woke up thinking it was going to be a good day.  Of course I was a bit tired, but within the first 20 minutes of being awake I had already learned that I’ve lost 3 more pounds, was going to have a cup of coffee and break my no coffee rule again, and a picture I had posted the night before on social media was getting a lot of fun attention.

Then I headed to work and immediately things started to turn sour.  First I backed my car into a trashcan and knocked it over.  That’s always fun!  Then I pulled on to Santa Monica Boulevard to find that traffic was completely stopped.  After ten minutes I realized I had to turn around and go back home because I forgot to take my medicine.  Once home and in the bathroom reaching for my medicine I accidentally dropped my iPhone.  When I picked it up I found that the screen was shattered. After that I got in my car a bit rattled to learn that there was a horrible accident on Santa Monica Boulevard and I’d have to find a new route to work.

Then I received an email from a friend with the subject line “ridiculously amazing”.  Inside the email was a copy of the picture I had posted the night before and a quick note about how my friend finds me to be ridiculous, silly and that she is glad I can always make her laugh.

Personally I think that there is not a person on earth who could successfully argue that I do not have a good sense of humor and that I don’t know how to laugh at myself.  This was proven by this picture last night. Yesterday was a very special day. It was the birthday of one of my dearest friends, Robbie, and also the day before my boyfriends sister visits. Naturally this required both a celebration and a house cleaning, so in true Bobby fashion I grabbed a cosmo and a mop.  Realizing how silly I looked I had Blair, my boyfriend, snap a picture so I could share it with Robbie and Blair’s sister on Facebook and Instagram.

I knew the picture would get some attention since these aren’t private networks, but I didn’t expect how much attention it would receive.  It’s been liked like crazy on Instagram, definitely enjoyed by some of my Facebook friends, tweeted about, emailed about both among my personal and professional networks and I even received a few text messages about it.

As I look back I realize just how funny the picture is which is perfect timing because after the morning I’ve had I needed a good laugh.

Now as I settle into my day I feel the need to laugh more than earlier and decided that it’s best to laugh at yourself. Life pushes you into many difficult situations, frustrating circumstances and sad moments, but it’s how we respond to them that makes us who we are.  Over the past year I have gotten a divorce, moved 4 times, left a job, started a job, said goodbye to all my best friends and family and started a new life.  There have been many wonderful moments, but also many hard moments.  So let’s take a moment to laugh at the way I have handled them.

1. The one that prompted this, the birthday celebration I threw for my friend since we were a country apart and he wasn’t getting to celebrate his birthday all while cleaning.

Weight loss proof

2. Last summer I decided to take a beach trip to Rehoboth to escape New York City. A fun trip with my friend Dustin to the beach ended up getting a bit rainy.  First we found ourselves crowded in a parking deck with a large group of beach goers so I decided to entertain those waiting for the rain to stop with a lovely dance.

RAIN

By the time we got to the hotel, cleaned up and headed out to the bars it was still raining, so I decided to go out in on the patio at the bar and do a little back-bend in the rain for the guys.

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3. Then the month of December came.  Christmas is always emotional when you are going through major transitions. I knew this past Christmas was going to be my last in New York, my last with my friends there and the first home with my family in over 7 years. The month of December found me getting a little too obsessed with Santacon to the point that I couldn’t let go of my elf costume and wore it repeatedly every chance I got.

Elfness

 4. Then there was the going away party for Blair and I prior to our move from NYC to LA. My friend and I decided to reenact the legendary scene from Titanic at the front of the boat, but failed…

Failed Titanic

5. Then I randomly convinced myself that it wasn’t clear that I am gay on social media so I made my Twitter and Facebook profile pictures pop with rainbow pizzazz. 3ed9d098005411e28df322000a1e9df2_76.  Then I went on a hike and realized I never had to question how gay I come off to people.

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7. We can’t forget how I celebrated my favorite holiday, Halloween. I marched through New York City dressed as a Alexander the Great’s concubine (my boyfriend dressed up as Alexander the Great for Halloween). This is real life for me!

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8. Then there was that time I thought I should climb a tree at 2 am. I don’t know how this is me getting past tough situations, but it’s pretty much worth inclusion for a laugh.

tree

9.  There was also that time my boyfriend convinced me it would be fun to clean up trash on the beach.  To get over that trashy experience I went to swim in the pool and of course I got a little too excited about the pool floats.

The floaty

10.  And lastly for my most ridiculous moment… The time I showed a little too much emotion at my going away party… and I kissed a girl…

The Girl Kiss

and then I kissed another girl…

The other girl kiss

Then everyone got in on the fun…

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And eventually even my boyfriend realized I can be a bit out of control so he made his claim.

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And I accepted his ring pop faux-proposal

The ring pop proposal

When life throws you tough situations and unexpected obstacles approach them with humor and laugh at yourself when you do something stupid.