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The Labor Day of #LivinLikeLindsay

This Labor Day weekend I am traveling to Palm Springs with a bunch of guys to celebrate the end of summer.  We’ve rented two houses.  The first is being referred to as the House of Jane and the Second is the House of Oprah after the celebrities Jane Fonda and Oprah Winfrey.

As my anticipation for this trip grew I decided to watch a Jane Fonda movie.  It was hard to pick what I wanted to arrive from Netflix this past week, but I decided on Georgia Rule and quickly found my love for Lindsay Lohan reawakening.

Lindsay Lohan, like myself, is no stranger to controversy, criticism, and scandal.  Basically she is human, but in the public eye. It’s unfortunate, unfair, but a reality.

I feel like I have grown up with Lindsay since we are the same age and I watched her grow through her career.  From The Parent Trap and Life-Size to her roles on Liz & Dick to 2 Broke Girls I feel as if I haven’t missed a moment of her career.

I also haven’t missed a moment of her downward spiral from falling outside of nightclubs to repeat visits to the courthouse. Now I watch as she tries to turn her life around. Lindsay has been through it all and I have watched her struggles and triumphs. 

What I think a lot of people get out of Lindsay’s life and what is covered of it in the media. That she has an addiction problem and is a hot mess.  People often seem anxious to see her fail.

I’m the opposite. I see a woman who is strong. She has battled addictions and family turmoil.  She has withstood the legal system and constant media pressure.  She’s even taken a verbal beat down from Oprah.  This girl is strong and I don’t think she gets the credit for it.

Regardless of my respect for her I love her so much that I have to enjoy the funny parts of her life in the media.  That’s why I have decided this Labor Day weekend to be dedicated to Lindsay Lohan. The good, the bad and the hilarious. I am going to try to take pictures reenacting different images of her throughout the weekend and post them with the hashtag #LivinLikeLindsay.  From drunken stumbles to throwing shade across the room, Lindsay Lohan always knows how to make a photo memorable.

I hope that this is seen as fun and not as mocking of her. I simply adore her talent and strength, but can’t help but poke fun at her and myself. I’m also known for partying a little hard so it’s just the perfect fit for a trip to Palm Springs with a group of 20 gay men.

Before I start with the bad photos though I have to post a few of my favorite pictures of Lindsay Lohan looking amazing!

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Justin Theroux on Chelsea Lately July 29, 2014

Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston, let me help you with your egg problem

Is it me or does it seem that everyone in Los Angeles lives, eats and sleeps entertainment and celebrities?  It’s a hobby here just as much as a career.  Unfortunately for me, trying to find a hobby is pretty hard.  When you have no clue what type of hobby you are looking for and following celebrities doesn’t suit you, what do you do?

In my life I have done it all or at least tried it all.  I’ve tried dance, color guard, playing the trombone, the piano, and the recorder obviously.  I’ve tried running, kayaking, swimming and frequenting the gym. I’ve tried painting, sewing, and knitting.  I’ve tried reading and writing, but more recently I have tried baking.  I feel like I’ve tried it all.

Baking and decorating cakes and cupcakes is one of the hobbies that I am going to be continuing.  There is something relaxing about baking the perfect cake.  I think it has to do with my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).  Baking can be about measurements and recipes. Everything is spelled out for me.  If I follow the instructions exactly I know my cake will turn out perfectly.  If I decorate it slowly and with concentration I know it will be beautiful. It calms me down, which someone with OCD needs because I spend a lot of time with obsessive thoughts repeating in my head.

The issue with this hobby is that baking is expensive.  You have to buy eggs, flower, cake flower, sugar, vanilla, and many other ingredients.  I forgot, you also have to buy all the supplies like mixers and bowls. I’d give anything to just have one ingredient free to help cut the cost of this expensive but needed hobby. I haven’t baked in over a month. Instead I am stuck with exercise and television.

Earlier tonight I was watching episodes of Chelsea Lately that I had on my DVR.  The guest on the episode I was watching was Chelsea’s dear friend, Jennifer Aniston’s partner Justin Theroux.  Chelsea is at her best when she knows her guest and today was no different.

The story they discussed that really caught my attention was when Justin explained how he and Jennifer have so many chickens they don’t know what to do with all the eggs.  Just to get rid of them they take them to people when they visit their homes.  Everyone except Chelsea that is. She wouldn’t use them.

Well, I have a solution for them.  I know this contradicts what I said above, but I think Chelsea can invite me over to her place one day.  Then Jennifer and Justin can come by and bring their eggs.  We can all hang out. Then I can leave with their eggs and bake a fabulous cake.

That’s not weird is it? It can be an egg party. I’m just saying Justin, let me help you out with your egg problem… it has nothing to do with my being a fan of Chelsea, Jennifer and you!

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Virginia, soon to be for ALL LOVERS, and not just the selected few!

When I woke up this morning I was struck with excitement.  It’s an excitement that I use to feel back when I was studying political science in undergrad at Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU).  It’s an excitement I get every time I realize how great of a country we live in.

We have our faults in America, but we also have a system of government, while frustrating, that is structured in a way that is intended to protect the basic civil and human rights of all citizens.  Our government, its officials and guiding principles are there to make sure no population, whether gay, straight, black, white, Muslim, Christian or otherwise are marginalized and treated as a lessor human-being than all other American Citizens.

Back in 2006 when I was finally old enough to vote in the United States I got to vote against the Marshall-Newman Amendment, a constitutional amendment that excludes same-sex couples from marriage and prohibits same-sex couples from attaining any other form of legal family status.  The amendment passed and I felt rejected by the very state I called my home.

Virginia, a state that has the slogan, Virginia is for Lovers decided to deny love between two people simply based on their sexual orientation.  Virginia was no longer for lovers no matter what the state wanted to project.

I moved away in 2007 and swore to never look back.  I wanted to live where I was accepted. I wanted my tax dollars to go to a state that valued my citizenship.  I wanted any revenue from a future wedding I may have to go to support local businesses in states that support same-sex couples and our basic civil right to marry the partner we love.

Now, years later, my heart is starting to race with excitement. The political process has played out.  While a majority in the state, back in 2006, were bullying the minority into accepting their religious views against same-sex marriage as our reality by using our voting system as a method of intimidation, the state is firing back by ruling against the ban.

This day, July 28th, will be a day I will never forget.  The 4th Circuit Court of Appeals in my home of Richmond, VA ruled in favor of same-sex couples’ freedom to marry upholding the previous marriage ruling that came out of Virginia in February.  

Soon, LGBT individuals in the state of Virginia will see their civil rights realized, but even more importantly we will now be equal to the other citizens of our state. No longer will we be told we are not good enough to be recognized for our love. No longer will we be told that a straight couples love for one another is any more or less valid than ours.

What makes me more excited, if LGBT couples are allowed to marry in Virginia I will no longer have to worry about hospital visitation issues if I am ever sick and in Virginia.  Hospitals in the state currently have the right to deny same-sex partners from visiting loved ones in the hospital due to family only rules.

According to Freedom to Marry’s website:

The decision is not effective immediately. Buzzfeed‘s Chris Geidner explains, “According to the court’s judgment in the case, the judgment will take effect after the mandate is issued in the case. The mandate, under the court’s rules, will be issued ‘7 days after expiration of the time to file a petition for rehearing expires, or 7 days after entry of an order denying a timely petition for panel rehearing, rehearing en banc, or motion for stay of mandate, whichever is later.’

Here are just a few of the social media photos that made my morning a bit brighter.

 

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A photo compliments of Southerners for the Freedom to Marry
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Photo credit: Freedom to Marry
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Photo Credit: Equality NC
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Photo Credit: Human Rights Campaign #MarriageMomentum #Virginia

 

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And the case goes on for Laurence Einuis

I’ve received a few questions about what is going on with Mr. Laurence Einuis and the ongoing case against him.  Rumors have swirled for a few weeks that an attorney review was scheduled for July 2nd, but no one seems to be able to find information on that court date.

CoverAccording the Criminal Case Details provided by the General District Court of Fairfax County Virginia Laurence Einuis was charged under code section 18.2-374.3 which accuses him of using communications systems to facilitate certain offenses involving children (for a full explanation of the charge click here). This charge is a class 5 felony charge which means if found guilty Einuis would face a term of imprisonment of not less than one year nor more than 10 years, or in the discretion of the jury or the court trying the case without a jury, confinement in jail for not more than 12 months and a fine of not more than $2,500, either or both.

The offense date was filed as June 2, 2014 and the arrest date was June 5, 2014 by Detective Nick Boffi.  According to Detective Boffi’s LinkedIn profile he has been with the Fairfax County Police Department just shy of 22 years having joined the force in October of 1992.  With close ties to the high school world of Northern Virginia, having graduated from Chantilly High School in 1990, it comes as no surprise to me that he works to protect children in the wonderful county of Fairfax.

On June 6, 2014 Einuis was arraigned in courtroom 2k at the Fairfax County Court.  On July 2nd he was scheduled for an attorney review which is listed as having been continued.  His next court date was scheduled for 2:00 pm EST for the preliminary hearing, but it has been continued already.  The continuance is listed as agreed upon by both the defendant and prosecution.

 

The next preliminary hearing is now scheduled for August 26, 2014 at 2:00 PM EST.  Einuis will be represented by Defense Attorney Gary Moliken.  Not much information is available on Mr. Moliken at this point, but I will do some investigation.

 

For those of you just learning about this case Laurence Einuis was the director and teacher for West Springfield High School’s band program.  He was arrested in early June after a parent found inappropriate messages sent from Einuis to an underage student. A second victim has stepped forward, but information is not yet available on those additional charges.

Stay tuned for more information and to read about the allegations against Mr. Einuis check out my previous postings here!

To read the case details visit the Fairfax County Court website or you can review a PDF of the case details here: Laurence Einuis Case Information as of 7/25/2014.

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The Real Gay Showmance on BB16, Cody Calafiore and his Fans

It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for! It’s time to talk about one of the under talked about homoerotic reality tv show romances.  No, I’m not talking about Frankie Grande and Zach Rance, although I will be talking about them later today or tomorrow.  Today I am talking about the homoerotic showmance between the stunningly flawless Cody Calafiore and pretty much every gay fan of CBS Big Brother!

When Cody waltzed into the Big Brother house I’m pretty sure mouths dropped and drool dribbled from a number of the gay men who watch the show.  Not to miss an opportunity, Big Brother has made sure that Cody has been featured in a number of highly sexy and homoerotic scenes and shots since the beginning of the season. It’s as if a new form of showmance has begun with fans wagging their tongues at the innocent faced heart-throb.

I’m not complaining! Would you complain about having to watch this on TV?

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Yet, after looking at him for a while I started to question his professional role as a Sales Account Executive.  With his face I believe he would make a good sales person.  Then my friend sent me a link to an article on Instinct and I realized that Cody’s face isn’t the only thing that will help him sale a product.

That’s right boys, Cody Calafiore has modeled for the gay favorited underwear brand CN2.  Man can he sale products.

Cody really stands out in the house this season.  He hasn’t shown a lot of game play yet, but his game has been going smoothly.  He is attractive 24 hours a day 7 days a week.  He is comfortable in his sexuality, as a straight man to clarify.  He isn’t a jerk like some of the other men in the house like Devin Shepherd and Caleb. All and all he is a nice guy with a talent for attracting attention to himself.

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Show pictures:

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Bobby and Blair in 2012 after first starting to date at Boxers NYC.

After 8 years, we had our first date!

2004:

Remember the days before Grindr and OkCupid?  When we had to either use antiquated social sites like XY.com or Gay.com to find other gay men in our area to be friends with, or to do other things with?  Back in 2004 I was one of those people using XY.com to see who else was out there.

Virginia was a lonely world for a gay guy in his late teen years.  I wanted friends or a guy to date.  I found a lot of frogs in that time, but no princes.  To be fair I was in high school and about to head off to college.  I didn’t really know what I wanted at that time.

None-the-less I searched longingly to fill an emptiness inside of me.  Then one day I got a message from a guy on XY.com.  He was cute, but a bit older.  I was a senior in a Virginia high school and he was a freshman at American University in Washington, DC.  We talked for a while on AIM, that’s American Online Instant Messenger for you young kids out there, and tried a few times to go on a date. I loved chatting with him online. He was forward, but honest.  He was sweet and always knew what to say. He made me laugh every day.

At that point in my life I thought laughter was gone from my world, but he had reintroduced it to me. Unfortunately with his just having started college and my trying to wrap up high school we never got the chance to meet in person before I packed up my bags and moved off to college.

2008:

In December of 2007 I graduated from college a semester early.  My boyfriend at the time really wanted to move to New York City and I figured it sounded like fun so I went along for the ride.

When I arrived in New York I realized I didn’t know anyone besides the boyfriend I moved up with.  At this point in my life my online world had already started to expand.  I was on Myspace and Facebook and used them both regularly.

One day when I was sitting bored in my Hell’s Kitchen apartment I decided to see if I could find anyone from my past who may have moved to New York as well via Facebook.  I signed into my account and synced all my contacts into my Facebook profile.  First my AIM contacts, which included that adorably sweet guy from American University who use to chat with me my senior year of high school.

He popped up as someone from my contact list who was also living in New York City now.  I was excited to say the least.  I kind of knew someone and possibly could make a friend.  No, we couldn’t date at this point because I had a boyfriend, but I figured everyone needs friends.

I decided to make the bold move to write him. I was going to be throwing a birthday bar crawl for a friend so I decided to invite him to that. A group situation to break the ice seemed like a good idea.

Our Facebook conversation started February 21, 2008:

Blair responded to my invitation: hey hun, not sure how we know each other, or what party I am supposed to attend, but I guess if you’re coming to NYC to party let me know where and when, k, hope you have a good bday!

Realizing that I probably sounded a bit crazy since we hadn’t ever met or talked since 2004 I thought I should say more. I added someone I talked to 4 years earlier on a dating website to my Facebook page, invited him to a birthday party and expected him to remember me and come. I tried my best to reign in my crazy.

I wrote him back: I did the find which of your AIM contacts are on Facebook.  I decided to check my old screen name from when I lived outside of DC.  I think we met when you were in college at American University.  Now that I live up here in NYC I figured I’d add you as a friend because it never hurts and I really know no one up here lol. I know it seems random!

I guess Blair realized that his original message was a bit curt so he replied:

Blair’s response on Facebook: No, I wasn’t trying to be mean, just confused and didn’t want to ignore you or anything. That’s totally cool, when I moved up here I didn’t know a ton of people either but now I have a really great group of gay friends and girlfriends from work, etc. So yea, if you and your bf or whomever are ever interested in going out just let me know, they’re a lot of fun. And as I said last night I was kinda confused about when and where your party is so if your having one let me know. Have a good day!

Our conversation continued for a couple more exchanges. I tried my hardest to engage with him and he entertained me to an extent, but as he tells me now he didn’t see much of a point. I had a boyfriend and he wasn’t interested in just being friends.

He never showed up at the party i was throwing and we didn’t get to meet that year. I wasn’t all that surprised, but it was worth a shot to run into him again after 4 years.

2009:

Nonchalantly, as all of us do, Blair and I wished each other Happy Birthday on Facebook when our birthday’s came around.  While we both arbitrarily invited each other to our birthday parties that year, neither of us went to the others. Our lives continued on separate paths.

2010:

While living in Hell’s Kitchen on 47th Street between 8th and 9th Avenues I was walking Evian when I noticed a guy walking toward me.  At this point I was married to the guy who I had moved to New York City with, so was still unavailable.

None-the-less the guy caught my eye.  I am only human after all.  As he got closer I could tell he was looking at me too.  He was incredibly sexy.  His walk screamed of confidence. His outfit was fitted and stylish and his scruff was so sexy I could hardly take my eyes off it until I noticed his eyes.

He must have noticed me staring because he kindly said hi as he passed. Once we were a few feet past each other we turned, smiled and waved acknowledging that we knew we had just passed each other in person for the first time since we had started talking in 2004.

Sadly, I was taken and he was walking to meet a guy for a date. The stars were not aligned for us at this point.

2012:

In 2012 I split with my now ex-husband.  Divorces take a long time, but one month after announcing publicly that I was no longer married I got a message that changed my life forever.

I remember it like it was yesterday.  I was sitting at my desk at Roosevelt Hospital in Midtown Manhattan when I noticed my Facebook was blinking.  Someone had either sent me a message or made a comment.  I decided to check it out.

Blair wrote me a private Facebook message on June 27, 2012: So, I know this is kinda random, but I see your pictures on Instagram and Facebook all the time and always thought you were such a cutie. I know we chatted ages ago, but I guess I didn’t realize you were single until very recently.  Would it be too forward to ask you out for a drink sometime? Hope you’re enjoying this lovely day. ~ Blair.

I think I read the message twenty times before calling over my work-wife Daisy to read the message with me and stock his Facebook photos.  A couple of guys had asked me out since the divorce and I had gone on dates, but none had excited me as much as this guy.

I was hesitant but after ten minutes I wrote him back, “Hi Blair”.  Then I must have had further hesitations because it took me two more minutes before I fully responded.

My full response sent on Facebook: You are just the sweetest.  I haven’t been single all that long, or at least public about it, so I’m not surprised you didn’t notice.  I think a drink would be nice. I do remember we use to talk when we both live in the DC area but never were able to meet up.  I am leaving for Virginia early Friday morning and won’t be back until July 12th. Anytime after that would be wonderful. My number is xxx-xxx-xxxx and of course I do think you are cute as well, and a little forwardness is always welcome!

After about 15 minutes he hadn’t responded and my nerves were getting the better of me.  I was asking myself a hundred questions. Was I ready to date?  Am I moving to quickly?  If I wait

Then my conscience started to scream at me.  I couldn’t resist writing more because I felt guilty and as if people would judge me for dating.

I wrote: I do have to be honest though, not sure if I am looking to date at the moment, but a drink doesn’t hurt if that sounds good to you.

Smooth, so freaking smooth.  I guess playing hard to get has never been my strength.  Luckily Blair is patient. He has waited since 2004 to take me on a date, so dealing with a little hesitation didn’t seem much of an issue.

Blair responded like a gentleman: Well that all sounds fine, and I completely understand if you’re not looking to date, I’m kind of in an in-between stage myself, so maybe we can just get a drink and see how it goes, haha. The summer is crazy, I’m in and out a lot as well, but we should be able to find a time after the 12th. (I’m in Chicago July 14-17) Do you wanna just pencil in the 19th and revisit when we get closer?

My response:  Yes, we can pencil in the 19th. That works perfectly for me. I work in Hell’s Kitchen so I can stay in the area post work . If I come back from my trip earlier I’ll let you know. My trip is very up in the air at the moment as it’s last minute and things at the office are so crazy busy.  Chat soon or see you on the 19th .

I was due to take a two to three-week trip to my parents. I was very fortunate because my job at the time let me travel to my parents since my life had so much going on to get my head on straight.  I thought it would be perfect to get me out of the city and away from my ex.

In the days building up to my trip Blair and I started to exchange Facebook messages and text messages.  My attraction to him was growing with every day.

By the time I got to my parents we were chatting regularly.  I obviously through playing hard to get out of the window, until my parent’s home came into play.  Their home tried to force me to play hard to get.

You see, they live in the middle of no where Virginia.  The first day I was at their house a storm hit Virginia and Washington, D.C.  Power and cell towers were knocked out throughout the area.  This was an issue that lasted for about a week.

My parents are fortunate enough to have a land line for phone calls and a backup generator that can give electricity to the guest house I was staying in, but not to the main house.  My trip wasn’t ruined, but I couldn’t get on the internet to chat with Blair there.  I couldn’t text him or call him from my cell phone either.  To top it all off he was in Cape Code with his friend and I didn’t want to interrupt his trip by calling him from the landline. We hadn’t even met after all.

Yet, I learned quickly what type of guy Blair is.  Without hesitation or question he called my parents home that first night to talk to me.  He enjoyed talking to me and getting to know me.  I enjoyed talking to him just as much.  As if we were living decades earlier we started a courtship for two weeks over the phone.

When I could, I would drive the hour and a half to Richmond, VA were I could get service on my cell phone. That allowed us to send each other pictures of our trips and further connect with each other.

By July 11th I was dying to get back to New York City.  When I left I never wanted to go back, but after two weeks of talking to Blair on the phone I couldn’t wait. We got to know everything about each other.  We had no choice, but to talk and learn about each other’s lives.  I think that is something missing in a lot of relationships today.  Thanks to apps like Grindr people often meet, have sex and move on with their lives.

When the time came for me to decide if I would stay an extra week or go back to New York City I decided I had to go back to New York City.  My mother and I hopped in the car and began the long drive up the east coast.  The entire time Blair and I texted each other and sent pictures as I made my way back to the city. He was already back from his trip.

My mom and I arrived around 5 pm.  She had to continue on to Connecticut for a business meeting, but I had business to take care of as well.  I unloaded the car, put Evian in my apartment and immediately headed to Queens.  Blair and I couldn’t wait any longer. We mutually decide that July 19th wouldn’t work.  The moment I got back to the city on July 11th I ran to the subway and our relationship began. We met for the first time in person and never looked back. 

Two years later I have to say, he is every bit as amazing and thoughtful as he had been those first two weeks while I was in Virginia.  He is a gentleman that wants only the best for me.

2014

Today we celebrate our two-year anniversary.  It’s been the best two years of my life.  We’ve moved across the country together and started a new life. We adopted a second dog and began to form our family.  Most importantly, we have decided to get married.  Sometimes I just have to sit back and remind myself that I have a pretty amazing life and an extraordinary partner.

I’m  not a patient person, but sometimes the best things in life are worth the wait!