Bobby TBD – Explained
What the heck does the TBD stand for? It’s exactly what you think it stands for, Bobby To Be Determined. I’ve hinted at the meaning behind the TBD in my earlier posting titled Song of the Day – Say My Name by Destiny’s Child, but I haven’t ever delved into the topic. This became clear to me after yet another person asked me. I guess it’s clear to some and confusing to others, which makes sense I guess.
Bobby TBD started as a joke because I need to decide if I am going to keep my married last name of Argabrite or change my last name now that I will not longer be apart of the family this name is associated with. Once the joke died a handful of close friends started talking to me about how perfect TBD defined my current situation and life.
Since I was 18 I defined myself by my relationship. That is no ones fault but my own, but in the process I lost myself. I changed my appearance and style over the past 8 years. I changed my name. I changed my surroundings. I changed my friends at times. I changed my hobbies. Frankly speaking, I molded myself to my relationship which kind of explains why I am where I am.
Now, at 26, I get to jump head first into a new life. I get to determine everything for myself. What’s my personality? What is my style? What are my hobbies? What are my past times? Who are my friends?
With this all said, at the same time I am not who I was 8 years ago. I have had many positive changes in my life over the past 8 years. I have had a pretty good life really. There are many things that I love about my life currently. Moving forward I get to find myself. I get to merge the old me, the married me and the growing me into one person.
The biggest change right now is to live on the edge. I wrote about this earlier in my I Wanna Be Bad posting. It all comes down to the fact that I’ve lived my life so afraid of what could happen that I haven’t tested the waters to see if what could happen in life could very well be a good thing.
Entering this process to define myself I have begun to branch out. I caved and had sushi a few weeks ago. I never would have done that before and I loved it. I went to Skyroom, a bar I never would have gone to before because it is the scene, yet I loved it. I am going on a Pride party boat this weekend, which again would have been something I never would have considered. I already love it! Oddly, the thing I look most forward to is all the exercise related activities I am taking on. Running has always been a part of my life, but now I am going to get back into racing! That is me. It’s in my blood. I am also going to start Yoga. Well, I’ll give it a try. I think having an exercise rich life will be me, but it’s still to be determined.
And maybe I won’t love everything I try and experience moving forward, but I am testing life. I am defining myself. Finding out what there is in life and what I like or don’t like. Bobby is to be determined and I am going to be me for me and living life for me for a while. I think that’s what’s best and I am excited (and admittedly a bit nervous) about it! For a while I am going to live like I am dying. Close my eyes and take chances. Let my OCD and anxieties wash over me and dive head first into everything. I guess there could be worse ways to deal with divorce or a breakup right?
Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw