Category Archives: LGBT

Virginia, soon to be for ALL LOVERS, and not just the selected few!

When I woke up this morning I was struck with excitement.  It’s an excitement that I use to feel back when I was studying political science in undergrad at Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU).  It’s an excitement I get every time I realize how great of a country we live in.

We have our faults in America, but we also have a system of government, while frustrating, that is structured in a way that is intended to protect the basic civil and human rights of all citizens.  Our government, its officials and guiding principles are there to make sure no population, whether gay, straight, black, white, Muslim, Christian or otherwise are marginalized and treated as a lessor human-being than all other American Citizens.

Back in 2006 when I was finally old enough to vote in the United States I got to vote against the Marshall-Newman Amendment, a constitutional amendment that excludes same-sex couples from marriage and prohibits same-sex couples from attaining any other form of legal family status.  The amendment passed and I felt rejected by the very state I called my home.

Virginia, a state that has the slogan, Virginia is for Lovers decided to deny love between two people simply based on their sexual orientation.  Virginia was no longer for lovers no matter what the state wanted to project.

I moved away in 2007 and swore to never look back.  I wanted to live where I was accepted. I wanted my tax dollars to go to a state that valued my citizenship.  I wanted any revenue from a future wedding I may have to go to support local businesses in states that support same-sex couples and our basic civil right to marry the partner we love.

Now, years later, my heart is starting to race with excitement. The political process has played out.  While a majority in the state, back in 2006, were bullying the minority into accepting their religious views against same-sex marriage as our reality by using our voting system as a method of intimidation, the state is firing back by ruling against the ban.

This day, July 28th, will be a day I will never forget.  The 4th Circuit Court of Appeals in my home of Richmond, VA ruled in favor of same-sex couples’ freedom to marry upholding the previous marriage ruling that came out of Virginia in February.  

Soon, LGBT individuals in the state of Virginia will see their civil rights realized, but even more importantly we will now be equal to the other citizens of our state. No longer will we be told we are not good enough to be recognized for our love. No longer will we be told that a straight couples love for one another is any more or less valid than ours.

What makes me more excited, if LGBT couples are allowed to marry in Virginia I will no longer have to worry about hospital visitation issues if I am ever sick and in Virginia.  Hospitals in the state currently have the right to deny same-sex partners from visiting loved ones in the hospital due to family only rules.

According to Freedom to Marry’s website:

The decision is not effective immediately. Buzzfeed‘s Chris Geidner explains, “According to the court’s judgment in the case, the judgment will take effect after the mandate is issued in the case. The mandate, under the court’s rules, will be issued ‘7 days after expiration of the time to file a petition for rehearing expires, or 7 days after entry of an order denying a timely petition for panel rehearing, rehearing en banc, or motion for stay of mandate, whichever is later.’

Here are just a few of the social media photos that made my morning a bit brighter.


A photo compliments of Southerners for the Freedom to Marry
Photo credit: Freedom to Marry
Photo Credit: Equality NC
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Photo Credit: Human Rights Campaign #MarriageMomentum #Virginia


The Real Gay Showmance on BB16, Cody Calafiore and his Fans

It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for! It’s time to talk about one of the under talked about homoerotic reality tv show romances.  No, I’m not talking about Frankie Grande and Zach Rance, although I will be talking about them later today or tomorrow.  Today I am talking about the homoerotic showmance between the stunningly flawless Cody Calafiore and pretty much every gay fan of CBS Big Brother!

When Cody waltzed into the Big Brother house I’m pretty sure mouths dropped and drool dribbled from a number of the gay men who watch the show.  Not to miss an opportunity, Big Brother has made sure that Cody has been featured in a number of highly sexy and homoerotic scenes and shots since the beginning of the season. It’s as if a new form of showmance has begun with fans wagging their tongues at the innocent faced heart-throb.

I’m not complaining! Would you complain about having to watch this on TV?



Yet, after looking at him for a while I started to question his professional role as a Sales Account Executive.  With his face I believe he would make a good sales person.  Then my friend sent me a link to an article on Instinct and I realized that Cody’s face isn’t the only thing that will help him sale a product.

That’s right boys, Cody Calafiore has modeled for the gay favorited underwear brand CN2.  Man can he sale products.

Cody really stands out in the house this season.  He hasn’t shown a lot of game play yet, but his game has been going smoothly.  He is attractive 24 hours a day 7 days a week.  He is comfortable in his sexuality, as a straight man to clarify.  He isn’t a jerk like some of the other men in the house like Devin Shepherd and Caleb. All and all he is a nice guy with a talent for attracting attention to himself.

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Show pictures:

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The Real Book Club of West Hollywood

It’s been over a week since I last posted something and that’s because… life happens. I got busy with work, personal life, trying to get my healthy living routine on track, but I am back.  The first post of the week is in honor of my book club!

If you have ever been a part of a book club you know they can either be really fun or really boring. Ours is on the fun side.

Interested in joining? Check out this video:


Mama Tits Educates Ant-gay Protesters at Seattle Pride!

Have you ever seen Tits explode?  Well I have and you don’t know what you are missing!

Oh, I’m sorry, get your head out of the gutter.  I don’t mean tits as in the slang word for boobs.  I am referring to the lovely and talented drag queen by the name of Mama Tits.  A woman with an eye on what’s right and a force to be reckoned with.

It’s taken years for me to learn that sometimes somethings are just not worth fighting.  A lot of people out there are stead fast in their beliefs no matter how ignorant or misguided they are.  There is just no getting through to them. One of the things I have learned that isn’t worth fighting is anti-gay protesters.  They are always going to hate.  None-the-less I do think it’s great when someone who has a platform and a large voice who can reach audiences stands up for what is right.

That’s exactly what happened at Seattle’s Gay Pride event.  Drag Queen, Mama Tits, took her microphone and confronted the protesters head on. Acting as a crusader she used a mature approach to the irrational group.

Instead of fighting blindly she stayed calm and stuck to the facts. Why don’t you read the bible before you preach about it?  That’s the question I got from the exchange.  Picking and choosing which parts of the bible you want to follow isn’t what any religion intended.

Mama Tits may not have gotten anything through to the protesters, but she did inspire people in the audience and people all over social media with her decision to address the protest. I applaud her and hope we have more voices like hers fighting the good fight for full acceptance and equality for the LGBT community.

Check out Mama Tits schooling these ignorant fools.  Nose to tits, words were said.

Pride and Tragedy – It’s time for all to get involved

Pride and Tragedy – It’s time for all to get involved (song of the day – True Colors by Cyndi Lauper)

For days I wanted to write about the different things I experienced over Pride weekend here in NYC, and I may still write something separate about all I got to take part in, but for now my mind is on one thing and one thing only.  That thing is equality and acceptance.

Every time I read a story about Mollie Judith Olgin and Christine Chapa, a teen lesbian couple who were both shot and left for dead this past weekend in Portland, Texas, my heart breaks.  This past weekend I was spinning around NYC having an amazing time.  Without a care in the world, I was celebrating life.  I spent the weekend dancing with my friends on a boat cruising around Manhattan, dancing the night away in the east village, marching in the gay pride parade with Swish, and standing on a rooftop in midtown looking out across the city at the Empire State Building which was illuminated in rainbow colors celebrating the LGBT community.  During each of these activities I was surrounded by people who truly cared about me whether I have known them for years or just hours.

All the while these two girls living in a much different part of the United States were living a horror that I can’t even imagine.  That horror was then followed by their families having to live with the horrific aftermath.  My heart and soul goes out to their families and friends.

I’m lucky to be living in New York City.  It’s not the perfect place in the world, but I take for granted the acceptance and tolerance the LGBT community can and does receive here.  The ignorance and hate that caused someone to take such horrific actions on this beautiful and young couple is exactly why I Swish.

What do I mean by, “Why I Swish”?  Swish is a gay-straight alliance that brings together all communities in an effort to support the LGBT rights movement.  This group brings gay and straight men and women to one thought process, that all men and women are created equally and that it takes all of us working together to further that thought process and battle ignorance.

In their mission statement they say, “changing laws is critical, but so is changing hearts and minds”.  That statement says it all.  And the tragic events that took place on Friday, June 22nd, 2012 in a park way out in Portland, Texas  shows us that it is more important than ever for people of all sexual orientations, genders, races, religions or what-have-you to pull together to fight for LGBT rights, to fight discrimination and fighting ignorance.

I find it ironic that this tragedy happened to these girls this past Friday.  While they were experiencing a horror beyond belief, I was on this boat with a group of my friends, while a lot of the people were dancing to the music that was pumping all around us, I was standing stunned by the Empire State Building and the colors shining at the top of it.  The main thought that swished through my head was that I have come a long way in my life.

Discrimination isn’t something I had to experience head on, definitely not to the extent these girls had to, but I was an out gay boy living in Virginia.  It wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t by any means horrific.  In actuality I was blessed with a family that did everything in their power to understand me and to accept me for who I am.  The community in Northern Virginia was also very accepting.  I still remember my step-fathers words to me when I was standing in the living room crying one afternoon.  I felt unaccepted, empty and alone.  He just sat back on the couch calm and collected and said, “I don’t care if you are gay.  You’re my son and I will love you no matter what.”

I swish so I can be part of a group that helps other parents, family members, friends, neighbors and community members understand and accept the people in their lives who are part of the LGBT community.  I dream of a day that all LGBT youth (and adults) receive support like I did from my family.  We are all people and we all deserve to be treated with dignity, respect and compassion.  Whether or not you are religious, it is my belief that we were all created equally.

To learn about Swish visit their website at

I read an article today on RH Reality Check that made a great point, people need to respond to this tragedy and let the world know this is not okay, but didn’t offer suggestions as to how people can get involved.  Supporting and joining organizations like Swish is a perfect way to take a stand for equal rights for the LGBT community.  Let everyone stand tall and share their true colors.  Whether you are gay, straight, bi-sexual, lesbian, transgendered or anything else I urge you to take a stand for equality.  True equality means we all are standing together.

Disclaimer – All views and opinions in this posting are those of Bobby Argabrite and do not represent the views of any organization written about or that Bobby Argabrite may be affiliated with.  

Happy Pride – Knock You Naked Margaritas and Margaritaville

Pride Song of the Day – Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffett

Today is the first day of the New York City Gay Pride Weekend.  Pride is a lot of things.  At the core it’s about celebrating who we are as a community and standing against discrimination,

Froze Limeade – 12 fl oz

inequality and ignorance toward the members of our community made up of gay, straight, bisexual, lesbian, and transgender people.  It’s about saying we are proud of who we are and supporting and celebrating our community.

With that said, it is also a time to celebrate the gay community!  I know that as we venture into pride weekend many people will celebrate across Manhattan at house parties, bars, clubs, on beaches, on boats and anywhere else you can think of.  I asked myself, what can I do to contribute to Pride weekend for those that may read my blog?

1 bottle of Corona

I started thinking about who I am and at my core I am a southern bell of a boy.  I love to host events and parties, which is probably why I do what I do.  The best contribution I can make to you all to help make this pride weekend special is to share with you a little party recipe I learned in college.  The Knock You Naked Margaritas!  What is a celebration in the heat of summer without a good strong ice cold margarita?

I must preface this by saying it is not my recipe.  It is a family recipe of someone I met while in college.  Her family was from New Mexico and they knew how to get down.  The recipe can be found elsewhere online though so I think I can share the secret!

I have to warn you, the name of these margaritas is the name for a reason.  They are not for the faint at heart or those with weak livers.  Light weights beware!

The Knock You Naked Margarita Ingredients:

  • 12 fl oz (1 bottle) Corona (extra or light, it doesn’t matter)
  • 12 fl oz can of Frozen Limeade
  • 12 fl oz of Sprite
  • 12 fl oz of Tequila (Sauza or something on that level is fine, don’t waste really expensive tequila)


Tequila – 12 fl oz

First off, you should know, do not ever blend this recipe with ice.  Due to all the carbonation you will be looking at a big mess.  I do know from personal experience!

Grab a pitcher from your kitchen (or a pot if you want to make a huge batch and double the recipe or triple it).  Pop the top of the corona and pour it into the

pitcher.  Then open the frozen limeade can and pour that into the same pitcher.  If your sprite is in a larger bottle use the frozen limeade can to measure out your 12 fl oz of sprite and pour that into the pitcher.  Use the same frozen limeade can to measure roughly 12 fluid ounces of tequila and add that to your mixture.  Make sure you stir it up really well so that you don’t have any limeade unmixed.  Now just pour it over ice.

These margaritas sound a bit crazy, but you will be hard pressed to find someone who doesn’t like them.  You will be sure to get your guests or yourself drunk if you are throwing a party and you can be damn sure you will have a good time!  If you don’t live in NYC be sure to drive safely and drink responsibly.


Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffett