Coyote rib cage… redefined coyote ugly for me!

Posted on by
Reply

CoyoteNature is something that surrounds you when you live Los Angeles, CA.  Something I had known was going to be the case, but I hadn’t really wrapped my head around the full meaning.  That has changed now however.

Since moving to California I have gone on a number of hikes.  Every time I ventured out into the mountains I knew what the risks were.  Poison oak creeps around every bend, rattlesnakes slither along the ground and coyotes roam freely in the wild.  My first thought was to be too freaked out to venture out on any nature hikes, but I quickly got over that thanks to how beautiful California is.

Then this past weekend arrived and the reality of what is truly involved in the wilds of California became clear to me.  Walking along a dirt path in Lake Hughes, California this past weekend my friend came to a sudden stop.  She was looking off to the side of the path when she said, “um is that what I think it is?”

It was exactly what she thought it was.  My first thought was that it was a snake coiled quietly in the desert mountain brush.  That alone would have disgusted me more than enough for me to head back to my car and drive back to my apartment in West Hollywood.  Yet it wasn’t a snake of any kind.  Instead it was the remains of a coyote.  The rib cage to be exact. It redefined coyote ugly for me because those remains were no pretty.

You would think a snake would have bothered me more since I am petrified of snakes, but something about this random rib cage sitting a quarter-mile away from the little cabin room I was going to be staying in that night completely shook me.  Every bone had been licked clean.  It was as if the rib cage was an impostor, but it wasn’t. It was the real deal!

One of the feelings I was plagued by my last six months in New York City was that I felt overwhelmed by the lack of places I could escape to and not see buildings all around me.  I wanted nature and open spaces.  Spaces where I could exercise and clear my mind.  After 5 1/2 years Central Park was no longer cutting it for me.

Now I have to ask, what have I gotten myself into?  And even more, as we learned from Jessica Simpson’s sad experience when her dog was snatched by a coyote, what have I gotten my dog Evian into?

I’m not going to let this realization of what exactly is involved when it comes to nature stop me from going on more hikes, but it sure as heck is a new experience when moving from New York City… oh wait… is it a new experience? I guess I forgot about this little guy that ran loose in NYC two years ago!

SNTV – Wild coyote runs loose in NYC by splashnews

Wishing the phone would ring – Family

Posted on by
Reply
Me and some of my family members!

Me and some of my family members!

Typically I hate when my phone rings.  That may sound strange, but I find 80% of the phone calls I answer or make tend to be a waste of my time and who has time to waste these days?  Staying true to my age I would prefer a nice long instant message conversation.  Yes, I’m dating myself, but I am referring to AOL Instant Message (AIM) or Google Message.

Remember the conversations you use to have on AIM?  A conversation where you actually have someone to talk to, but at the same time can step away from for a minute or two without a second thought.  Pretty much the same type of conversation you have to GChat nowadays. You could multitask and still get to stay up-to-date with whoever you may be speaking to.

If I am unable to have an instant message conversation then texting (and iMessaging if you have to be literal) is the next best thing usually.  It’s a little harder to hold a long conversation, but it allows me to speak with people in a very concise way.  No time is typically wasted when this is the case.

Today, I sat in my car chugging along in rush hour traffic on my way home from work wanting nothing more than to hear my phone ring.  Typically I would be listening to the news, a book on tape, scanning emails or doing something productive, but not today.  It was strange, but I really wanted to hear that god awful ringtone that Apple tries to pass off as some sort of “marimba” jam.  My body shudders at the meer thought of that little tune, but at the same time my ears longed to hear it.

For the past few years I hadn’t really been in much contact with my family.  Then a bit over a year ago things started to change drastically in my life.  With the changes being made my family slowly started to pop-up all around me to support me.  My phone, for the first time in years, started to ring giving me reason to actually pay for minutes that I hardly ever used in the past. My family was calling.

Now that my family calls me now and again I guess my heart longed to hear a familial voice. My mind yearned for the comfort I had started to receive over the past year.  My ears hoped to hear the voices that tell me that I am a part of a family and never alone.

It’s funny when I think about that because it makes me think of the different reasons I decided to move to California.  One of those reasons was to reconnect with, be closer to and love my family.  In more ways than one I have grown closer to my family, all of my family, in the past two and a half months.  I originally meant “closer” as in physically closer, but it’s true that I am closer both physically and emotionally.  Something that couldn’t have been the case had I stayed in New York City since I have absolutely no family in the area.

So today I found myself wishing to hear my phone right. Wanting my phone to ring is a positive step forward.  I’m no longer at home crying because of the shit life dealt me at the beginning of 2012.  Nope, now I am sitting in my car feeling so thankful for my family that I actually want to endure that darn Marimba ring tone just to hear their voices and feel their support in my life.

I spent years trying to convince myself that family doesn’t necessarily mean those you share a bloodline with, but let me tell you… nothing replaces that kind of family.

The California DMV Tanked My Mood

Posted on by
Reply

thAs last week came to an end I announced to my boyfriend, my mother, some colleagues and other friends that I just had to hold out until Monday, May 20th and I will be able to start a new week.  All the stress of back to back travel, events (both work and personal, and a jam-packed schedule was to be left behind me.

Then I got to experience my first trip to the California Department of Motor Vehicles.  It is time I exchange my New York drivers license for a California one.  This isn’t the hardest thing on earth to accomplish, but it isn’t without its hurdles.

First of all, like all Department of Motor Vehicles from across the nation, California’s are no different in that they are historically plagued with long lines.  Who has time for that?  Luckily, I live in the great state of California where their DMV allows you to schedule appointments ahead of time.  That sure kept the stress off of me!

My appointment, which I had scheduled over a month ago, was for this morning at 8:30 am.  The DMV opened at 8:00 am so I assumed there would already be a crowd when I was to arrive at 8:30.

To my surprise when I pulled into the parking lot of the Santa Monica DMV there were very few cars parked in the lot.  I didn’t count my lucky stars yet though. It is a DMV after all.  I assume some people inside couldn’t drive themselves there, if they all could then they wouldn’t be at the DMV right?

I sashayed, in the way that I do, through the front doors to find no line in the place.  The seats to the right were only occupied by a handful of people leaving at least 90% of them empty.  I naïvely laughed to myself and thought, “well this will go much fast than I thought”!

Now all I had to do was fill out the form to exchange my license and take the written test and I would be done.

So I thought, it turns out that I had forgotten to bring a copy of my birth certificate or my passport with me. One of the documents would be required to get a California driver’s license.

Immediately upon realizing I had forgotten these documents I walked back to my Jeep, sat down in the driver’s seat and slammed my head against the steering wheel.  After a long weekend which I had to work during I woke up early this morning just for this test.  I showered quickly and hit the road so I could study some for the written exam on my way and when I arrived.  All that stress was for nothing and I have to go through the entire process of making an appointment that doesn’t conflict with work or my personal life, study and deal with entering the DMV one more time.

There is one thing positive to come out of this experience and that is that California has received a point from me for the speed and efficiency of telling me I was inadequately prepared to apply for my driver’s license.  I feel like I would have been at the New York City DMV for an hour before someone would have told me I was unable to get my license today.

Now I’m stuck trying to shake off the foul mood this has left me in.  I have no driver’s license from California.  I have yet to take the written test.  I have to make a new appointment and wait a couple more weeks and still have to deal with this all over again.  My mental move to be more upbeat, optimistic and in a good mood is off to a rocky start. If only I had realized I needed those documents maybe my goal of starting the week on a positive note could have been achieved.

Totally Fucked – Spring Awakening… it just seems appropriate when you are speaking or writing about the DMV.

Learning to wake up in LA

Posted on by
Reply

good_morning__los_angeles_by_ballookey-d4e9djdSince moving to Los Angeles from New York City I have learned that there are many differences between LA and NYC.  Some of these differences are minor and some are major and with that said, some may be minor but seem major to me.  One of the changes that I am still adjusting to is mornings in LA.

Over 5 1/2 years in NYC I developed a pretty standard ritual that most of my colleagues and friends were also accustomed to.  I would wake-up, walk my dog, get ready for work, ride the subway, walk to my office, sit at my desk, and work for 30 minutes to an hour before I really said a word to anyone.  I would operate in my own bubble until at least 10:30 am allowing me to both wake up and get my day started.  Everyone seemed to operate along the same lines in NYC (although I realize there are plenty of New Yorker’s who are early birds).  We respected the silent commute and the need for many of those around us to ease into their days.  To be honest, half the people I have worked with over the years in NYC didn’t even arrive to their offices until 10/10:30 am.

People here in LA often seem to operate in a much different way in the morning.  You see, here, people seem to wake up and start pounding the pavement… literally!  Everyone seems to workout in the morning, go to coffee meetings and enter their offices in the mornings as energetic as can be.  No matter where I am or what I am doing it seems as if people want to talk to me the second I roll out of bed.  I’ve met more of my neighbors on my morning walks with my dog here in LA than I have at any other time of the day. Let me tell you, when I walk the dog in the morning I have no interest in meeting anyone!  I roll straight out of bed, pull on the first items of clothing I can find and walk the dog looking like a hot mess.   This little fact took me two weeks to really learn! I finally started waiting to walk my dog until after my morning shower just to save face in my neighborhood.

It always seems around here that if people aren’t at the gym waking themselves up in the morning they are surfing in the frigid waters of our area beaches.  No wonder they are wide awake!  If they aren’t surfing they are doing something else.  By the time 10:00 am rolls around and I am finally starting to wake-up and be in a talkative mood, everyone around me seems to have been in a wide awake state of mind for at least 2 hours.

Rolling with the punches and trying to acclimate myself to the culture around me instead of expecting the culture to change for my comfort I have begun waking up a little early and running in the morning.  It hasn’t become a ritual yet, but I would say it is on the way to becoming a ritual.  I’ve noticed the people I know here in LA that wake up and start there days early have very positive attitudes and are very productive.  I wouldn’t mind a positivity  boost and productivity boost in the mornings.

While I would like to say that I would award a point to NYC for understanding the need to take it slow in the mornings I have to give a point to LA for teaching me how to take advantage of my day from the second I get up.

Getting Back to My Original Intent

Posted on by
1

A year ago my life was in a much different place.  It was in a place that caused the world around me to be covered by fog.  I really didn’t seem to know what was going on in my life and little did I realize it at the time, but my life was soon to be completely flipped upside down.

Can I tell you a secret?

What I thought was going to be a nightmare ended up being one of the best things to have happened to me throughout my life.  I was given the opportunity to start my life over so I did just that.

I created a blog so I had an outlet for my thoughts, feelings and emotions at that time. It was developed as a tool for me to be me.  Caring about what people thought was not supposed to matter because bobbytbd.com (at the time bobbyargabrite.com) served one purpose and that was to allow me to live, feel, express and grow. It was intended to give me an outlet and to help keep me mentally active and healthy.

That’s why when I was driving to work today I thought it was odd that after two months of living here in California I still haven’t gotten back into the groove of writing again. One year after my life was plunged into abrupt change I find myself having moved across the United States to California and I am behaving like there has been nothing to share about this experience and about life in general. I think there is enough of a transition associated with a move to have plenty to write about, yet I haven’t been writing. I’ve been too afraid to write.

At first I told myself I wasn’t writing (or creating my going away party video of photos and videos taken from my moving away from NYC festivities) because I was too sad to be leaving all my friends.  Then I told myself I wasn’t writing because I had too much going on between working for a company based out of New York City while being in California and searching for a new job based in California. I guess I convinced myself that there was too much going on for me to concentrate on a blog.

Now I have no excuses besides not wanting to say what’s on my mind. I think I’ve been nervous because of the sheer number of people in my life that read my blog. I’ve been worried about what they will think of what I write.

You know what I think? I think I lost my original thought process when it comes to blogging. I am writing for me and only me. I am writing because I enjoy it and I am writing because it is an outlet for me.

Someone recently referenced a blog I wrote and told me to wear my hot pink. I feel like that’s a metaphor for my blog and my life. I need to step up and out again.

A Theory Proven True – Closer to Family

Posted on by
Reply

A Theory Proven True – Moving Closer to Family

My mother and I at my parents home in Virginia.

My mother and I at my parents home in Virginia.

When I made the decision to move to California, a lot of people in my life were skeptical. It seemed as if I decided over night, but the truth is that I put a lot of thought into it. Let’s not be silly here people, I realize moving across the United States is a huge deal.

After two weeks here I have to tell you that I couldn’t be more satisfied with my decision. Just focusing on one of the reasons I decided to make this move I already feel validated. I told a lot of people a major factor in my decision-making process was the thought that I would get to see my mother more often. This is something that is very important to me because my mom and I are very close, but while I lived in New York City I felt lucky if I got to see my mom one day every other month for a quick dinner.  I went near 5 1/2 years in New York City living a life removed from family and my mother. I had a feeling that would change for the better with this move.

My mother with me and my boyfriend Blair at Flaming Saddles in New York City.

My mother with me and my boyfriend Blair at Flaming Saddles in New York City.

Some of the people close to me gave me quizzical looks when I discussed this theory due to the fact that my mother lives in Virginia, about a ten-hour drive from New York City to her home.  The thing these people don’t realize is that my mom travels for business all the time and New York wasn’t in or near her territory.  California is a place she travels to regularly and to top it off, in California I have my grandfather, aunt, cousins, and a brother in the area that I can see as much as I want to.

With this in mind while I was making my decision to move to Los Angeles or stay in New York City, I strongly believed I’d get to see my mom a lot more living in Los Angeles. After two weeks of living here in Los Angeles I can tell you my theory has already been proven to be true.

Mom and I modeling our matching fleece zip-ups.

Mom and I modeling our matching fleece zip-ups.

I am excited to share with you that my mother will be visiting this week, she arrives tomorrow and leaves Saturday, then again next week she will be visiting from Wednesday to Saturday and then again two weeks into April. I haven’t gotten to see my mother this often since I lived in Virginia, an hour and a half away from her. It’s just what I need.

Following the “to be determined” aspect of how I am living my life lately, I realized that part of defining who I am is finding out where I come from and connecting with those that helped make me who I am. I’m so thankful my boyfriend Blair and I decided to make this move together.

I truly hope that if you are faced with making a huge decision like I was and had to do that make the right decision for you.  Life is meant to be fully of happiness and sometimes that takes big risks.

Today’s song of the day: ”My Wish” by Rascal Flatts